EAT » [ziam]

twenty

[I wish I didn’t really kiss the mirror when I’m on my own. Oh God! I’m gonna die alone]

~**~

Mirrors. This reflecting surface was made of glass with metallic backing to present an image. Zayn used to love mirrors as a child, especially the ones that exaggerated your appearance in fun houses at carnivals. Whenever he’d look at himself in that chunk of glass, he’d think he looked fine – completely normal. However, as time went on, the mirror started telling him different. It became his biggest bully, pointing out every single one of his flaws, like an inanimate version of his father. He was never good enough. He needed to be thinner, better.

Music from his iHome dock plays as Zayn turns to the side in front of the mirror, checking if he looked okay for his and Liam’s date. The two had slowly reconnected over the week and this date was for sure, no bullshit this time. Zayn sighs at how he looks, feeling self-conscious about the graphic t-shirt he had on. As he lifts up his shirt, he sucks in his stomach and counts the amount of ribs on both of his sides. Exactly four, but only when he sucked it in. “I want it like that all the time,” he mumbles to himself.

He drops his shirt back down and grabs a sweater with Mickey Mouse on the front, the one he got when they (his family) went to Disneyland two years ago. The trip was rather boring for Zayn, but his mother insisted that he go.

Zayn hears his phone buzz, notifying a new message, and he plops down on top of his bed. He checks the newly received text from Liam.

From: Liam

Message: Hey Zayn! I’m on my way, be over in 5. x

 

Zayn raises an eyebrow because when the hell did Liam get a car? His fingers rapidly type back a response, rereading it before pressing send. Zayn was a bit of a perfectionist with simple things like grammar; what he could control.

To: Liam

Message: OK, ha. :)

Zayn knew Liam was taking them out to dinner tonight. He had to go over what he ate for the day, counting every calorie, every number to see if he had enough room for dinner. He had about ten dry-roasted almonds for lunch earlier, seven calories each, seventy total. He did go for a run this morning, so he had to eat something. He couldn’t risk passing out. Well, a salad couldn’t hurt. He’d just wash most of it down with a glass water, to fill himself up faster with the least amount of calories possible.

He gathers his things and exits his room, traveling down the stairs. His sister and father are in the living room while his mother is in the kitchen, finishing up the touches on tonight’s dinner. Trisha perks up at seeing her son and asks, “Oh honey, are you joining us for dinner?”

Zayn shakes his head. “No, I… I’m going out with a friend.”

She places a hand on her hip and examines her child from the distance she was at. “Out with a friend? Then why are you dressed up so nicely?”

“It’s just casual—”

“Wait, you have a date, don’t you?!” cheers Trisha in excitement, strutting over to her son with opened arms. “Who’s the lucky lad?”

The scarlet flush on Zayn’s face was prominent, reddening in color at the second. “Mum, it’s just- yeah it’s a date. With Liam, m-my friend.”