EAT » [ziam]

ten

[He hit me and it felt like a kiss]

Hey guys, I decided to do a best comment receives a dedication on this story. I would really like to get a bigger amount of comments and support on this story. Thank you. :)

~**~

His gut was wrenching. Zayn had no clue what Jawaad wanted to ask him. He felt more nervous than those kids in The Hunger Games during a reaping. There were so many possible things that could come rolling out of his mouth, and all it took was one word to change everything. Talking could either make or break you in life. One wrong syllable could cost you a relationship.

Jawaad was one of the last people left that Zayn cared about. He didn't wanna lose one of the last support systems he had remaining.

"Well, what do you wanna talk about?" asks Zayn while placing his palms against the soothing warm sand. His sweaty palms made it slippery and hard to keep a good hold on the eroded rock beneath them.

The last time Zayn could remember being this anxious was when he came out in year eight. His mother adjusted to it within a couple days. Safaa really didn't know much about what being gay meant so she continued to love her brother unconditionally. Yaser however didn't handle the topic too well. In fact, he's never gotten over it. He always dreamed of having your typical athletic son who excelled in sports and enjoyed hobbies like fishing.

Zayn's outing didn't settle with the rest of the Malik family as well. A majority of them were homophobic; a product of their islamic heritage. This gave another topic for Zayn's uncles and father to tease him on, especially his cousin Zimran. Zimran always had a hatred for Zayn. 'Massive Malik, fatass, and faggot' were his favorite insults to use on Zayn. Of course, only when no one was listening. Who was he kidding? Even if his family did hear, they wouldn't give a fuck. They'd probably join Zimran with the name calling.

Zayn sighs to escape his tormenting thoughts and focuses on Jawaad. "Zayn, you know I love you, right?"

Zayn smiles. Not one of those fake smiles he uses on the daily. A sincere honest smile. "Yeah, I know. I love you too Jay."

Zayn starts twirling his fingers in the sand as Jawaad clears his throat, his eyes gleaming with concern. "Then you'll understand if I tell you the truth; I'm worried."

Zayn's eyes drop. He couldn't comprehend what Jawaad was talking about. What could he be worried about? Then again, Zayn had an endless amount of flaws that could make Ursula from The Little Mermaid seem beautiful.

"Worried about what, Jay? 'M fine..." mumbles Zayn while looking down at his thighs, wishing they were thinner and further apart.

"Well, it's about your... weight--" begins Jawaad.

Zayn's heart lunged out of his chest. The saliva in his mouth was suddenly thick. He couldn't swallow or muster up the words to say anything. He knew exactly what Jawaad meant; he was overweight, obese, massive, fat, unfixable, a mess.

Before Jawaad can continue on with what he's getting at, the rest of their family comes tumbling down to join them at the coastline. "There you are Zayn!" whined Trisha while scurrying over to her child.

She attempts to grab his arm to make sure he's fine, but Zayn pulls away. "I'm fine," he snaps.

Zayn felt sour. Even Jawaad could see his imperfect physique; his fat hips bursting from side to side.

"Wanna swim Zaynie?" asked Zimran in a mocking tone, knowing he feared swimming.

Zayn pushed everyone out of his way and ran back up the hill to find the bench where everyone first met. He needed to be alone. That's what he wanted; to be left-the-fuck-alone.