EAT » [ziam]

fifteen

{Before you guys read this chapter, I just want to say that you make sure you read the author’s note once finished reading if you usually skip them. There’s a certain scene in this chapter that I want to clarify and explain so people don’t get confused and think I’m dumb or something. Thank you! Have a good read!}

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[If I get a little prettier can I be your baby?]

~**~

His whole house was completely isolated, abandoned, and empty; just like his heart. Yaser had taken his wife and daughter out for dinner and Zayn was offered to go, but the boy declined and locked himself in his room ever since he got home from school that afternoon. While his family was eating, Zayn was looking through weight loss magazines and at ‘thinspiration’ blogs on Tumblr. He knew Liam would of risked getting in trouble for Zayn if he was better looking, thinner, perfect. All he wanted was Liam’s approval at this point. He loathed for it. He craved it like someone would for coffee in the morning.

Also, he felt like everything he was doing was a waste of time. No matter how many days he fasted or how many miles he ran, Zayn was never going to be good enough. Not just to himself, but to others around him as well. It made him wonder what his life could have been like if he was this perfect child that accomplished so much and brought status to his family, not embarrassment. Maybe his father would treat him right, maybe he would stand up for his sister, maybe Liam would put in as much effort as Zayn did because it takes two to tango.

He walks over to his mirror and pulls off his shirt. What he sees makes his fist ball up and clench against the fabric in his hand. “Why can’t I be good enough?” he whispers to himself, his lip quivering and tears threatening to spill out.

His eyes slide shut as Zayn traps away any tears. He really hated how much of a wuss he was being, and had no clue why he was so sad. He was just so confused and a well hidden mess. Zayn needed to man up and stop crying over every single thing. He knew the best remedy for sadness would be talking to someone to calm him down. Jawaad was a simple call away, but Zayn didn’t want to be a burden and annoy Jawaad. His cousin wouldn’t admit it though.

Luke was another option; however, Zayn didn’t know him that well still and wasn’t that open with him yet to vent. Besides, if he lost control and cried over the phone like he always did with Jawaad, Luke would be put in an awkward situation and Zayn didn’t want that.

Zayn slips back on his shirt and sits back on his bed. His phone then rings and he looks at the caller ID. It was an unknown number and Zayn was hesitant at first, but he would never know who it was unless he answered. He clicks the green button and pulls the phone close to his ear, only a few crackling noises being heard at first.

“Hello?” asks Zayn.

“Hey Zayn, it’s Harry! Harry Styles.”

Zayn’s eyebrow was raised high because he was just blatantly confused as to why Harry was calling him. “Um, how did you get my number? I never remember giving it to you?”

Harry chuckles. “Calm down. I got it from Louis who got it from Liam. I know, that’s a long confusing cycle.”

“Well, can I help you then? You called for a reason, yeah?”

“I just wanted to chat Zaynie s’all,” explains Harry, “I feel we really connected this morning ya know?”

Zayn’s mouth was formed in a straight line. He and Harry never really talked that often and Zayn was just bad at keeping a steady conversation going. “I guess.”