Fearless

| XXII | - Merry Christmas

When Susie had managed to wander her way back home after spending hours at the diner with Charlie, and an extra half hour trying to convince him that he didn't need to walk her home. She entered the house, it being dark and absolutely quiet. She sighed heavily and kicked off her shoes, shutting the door behind her. She already knew her father was long gone for his patrol car was gone but also her grandma's mini van.

She turned on a few lights and wandered through the house. "Grandma?" she called a few times, looking around everywhere and then upstairs to the guest bedroom she stayed in, only to find all her suitcases gone, the bed made, and absolutely every last trace of her gone.

Falling back on the edge of the guest bed, Susie put her head in her hands, the silence growing louder and louder as a few stray tears managed to fall their way out of her eyes. She took a deep breath and lifted her head up, catching sight of something on the nightstand. Reaching over, she grabbed the little folded note with her name on it and read.

Sweet Susie,
I'm sorry, dear. I know I promised
you I would stay until the
New Years and for Christmas
and everything...but...your
father made it clear I was
unwelcome. Forgive me, for leaving
without saying good-bye. I love you
very much, Susie. My Christmas
gift to you is already under the
tree in your bedroom. I set it up
in there since your room is the
only homey spot in this house.
Don't open it until Christmas Day.
I love you.
-With care, Grandma Brooks

Susie fought the tears that threatened to spill and drug herself out of the guest bedroom and into her own, seeing the large Christmas tree set up in the corner, lighting up the room with a soft light. All her favorite ornaments were on it, including all the ones she made with her parents and friends, and the ones she got as gifts. A bright gold star was placed atop it with gold garland wrapping all around the white plastic Christmas tree. She smiled softly, seeing the little gift from her grandmother underneath it, wrapped in brown paper with a gold bow.

If her grandmother suddenly left than that meant her father kicked her out and that also meant that Susie would possibly spend another Christmas and another New Year's alone. The thought left her with a huge wave of sadness, weighing her down until she sat on her bed, looking down at the note in her hands. She wasn't going to allow Charlie to come over for Christmas, it was bad enough he left his family Thanksgiving day. Plus, every year that passed no one noticed that she spent Christmas Day and New Years alone, she always managed to maneuver herself out of any conversation about the two days.

However, she was hardly concerned about that in that moment, what she couldn't seem to stop thinking about was how she yelled at her father and how he must feel if he suddenly left as well and went to work. She felt nothing but guilt and regret for saying such things to him, who knows how he must've felt in that moment.

"How do you expect me to stay here when she looks and acts like Lilian!"

The sound of her fathers angry voice when he said such a thing sent a cold chill down her spine and she fought the urge to break down into tears yet again in that moment. The things she remembered him saying made her not feel so guilty anymore. Susie had a right to stand up for herself in that moment but she didn't want her father to feel bad, she didn't want him to be upset anymore because of something she said.

But what could she do? Her father was going to continue going back to his old ways and Susie had no control over it.

* * *

The week leading up to Christmas was a blur, Susie was too stressed about what was going to happen Christmas day she hardly found the time to hang out with either Kristina or Charlie. She continued decorating her room for Christmas, putting up strings of Christmas lights around the outside of the house and inside the house, she put up a bigger Christmas tree in the living room and decorated it with what little ornaments she had left.