Shamming

Twenty

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Sarah went to her brother's house with a heavy heart. She didn't know what she should feel or do. She was in danger of a thief attacking her only the day before and now she was attacked by her best friend who got enough with her. She only wished he wouldn't travel and leave her again this time. Sarah threw herself on the bed and closed her eyes wishing the past two days were not true. She slept dreaming of a better senario to her life where Eyad would reply with a simple "I love you too", her being on her own bed at her own house, Omar ending their engagement with an open heart and accepting her change of feelings and her mother being near so she could sleep between her warm arms.

Sarah was disturbed from her sleep by Joey licking her left cheek.

"Eww, stop it boy." she groaned turning her body and facing away from her dog but he was presistant on not leaving her in peace. Joey jumped over her then on the other side of the bed to face her and barked in her ears then licking her cheek again. "Don't a lady deserve a sleep after being rejected." she said in her hands then sat up straight carrying the little dog in her lap.

"What should I do now, Joey?" she sighed rubbing his hair lightly. "I have tons of problems on my shoulders and I need my mother." 

Well, sure she was old enough to solve her own problems and pay for her mistakes but nobody ever was too old for needing their mother when it turns shady. 

"You know Joey I actually feel that I deserve everything happening with me right now, the table being turned and everything backfiring on me." She sighed "It bloody hurts feeling rejected from the person you love, not to forget this is the same person who is my best friend or at least was and also is the same person I pushed away when he confessed his love for me. I am a big fool." she fell on her back against the mattress again with Joey giving her a pitiful puppy eyes.

A ringing cut her thoughts and she got up with a lazy legs to see who wanted her in that miserable mood. It turned a delightful moment once she saw her mother's name popping out asking for a video call.

"Ahh, hello mama." she said over excitedly that she felt like cringing for being too fake. 

"What are you hiding, young lady, do tell me I won't tell your daddy" her mother joked to lighten the tension she noticed in her daughter's face from second one on the call.

"It is not that of a big deal actually but.." Sarah took a breath then decided to say what she really wanted to do. Her mother nodded waiting for what was to come eagerly. "Actually I.. I kind of.."

"Just spill the beans, Sarah." her mother got frustrated with her stuttering not to mention it was worrying her, Sarah had always been the confidant girl who spoke her mind and did whatever she saw as a right thing without caring much for the consequences. As a shocker as it would seem but her mother loved that about her eventhough she would never tell the lady out loud.

Sarah had a good intention most of the time and her heart was as pure as a child who wasn't corrupted by the evil adult's complicated world. Maybe that was why she fall in a lot of undesirable situations she could have avoided from the very begining.

"Okay, mama, no need for being grumpy." Sarah continued "I want to break things off with Omar." 

Gehan was shocked, they loved each other it wasn't some normal marriage and she left them completely fine just a couple of days ago. What could have happened and changed everything and turned love and desire into nothing to connect two persons and making them fight for each other.

"Why?" that was the only word Gehan could form at the moment. For sure her daughter was childishly turning a normal pickering into a big fight leading to this.

"Things is happening to me, my feelings are changing. I don't  know what is happening actually but I've been thinking for awhile about everything and every person in my life and I just found that me and Omar will not be hapy with each other. We don't make each other happy. We are not that close and certainly my feelings for him is not as strong as I thought they were."

"Is this has anything to do with Eyad?" Sarah swallowed the lump in her throat but before answering her mother continued "Is Eyad coming back distracting you? Or is that because you are not as close with him as you used to be before? Is the engagement making you feel guilty towards Eyad and his love for you?"

"How have you known that he loves me?' Sarah asked surprised.

"I am not an ignorant young lady here." her mother pointed at her graying hair "You see this, it means that I actually have much more experience than you thought your old lady may have." her mother sighed. "You are the ignorant one, my dear, it is clear as daylight that he loves you, his eyes talk, his sacrifices talk, even him traveling to give you the opportunity to get you life together talks but unfortunately you were deaf to all his talks."

"Now what? I told him I love him and he threw it in my face saying it is not true and I can't continue things with Omar knowing I no longer love him and I don't know how to get this mess fixed without hurting the people around me." Sarah's eyes were tearing and her mother felt pity for her but she knew she had to leave sarah standing up for what she wanted and to fix the mess she made. She wasn't a nine year old girl causing a fight in the school and needing her mommy to talk in her place with the principle to solve the mess. She was a twenty four years old adult who needed to learn from her mistakes and get over whatever that would come in her way and what was more important was that she had to take her own decision in her own life.

"I can't tell you what you should do baby, you have to calm down and think of what you really want and act on it, fixing the mess in your way. I am sure you can do this. I trust in you." that was the last of their conversation leaving Sarah a mess more than before. 

Why is adultood a bitch biting our butts off and making us go out of our minds with a simple wrong action we once take? Sarah wondered.

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