The Gauntlet: Results and Reviews

Virtue by EPrescott

Final Total: 6.1 (we're opening the book and starting to read...)

Reader 1:

Cover: 2/4 While certainly attention-getting, the cut-off Roman in plain black overlay gives it a bit of a 'classics anthology' feel. Think, 'textbook.' Not teen drama and school-boy angst. It also doesn't seem to have a great connection to the blurb, other than that he's at a boarding school and they often study the classics. Bit of a stretch, unless there's something in the story that ties directly to the statue. I would also suggest picking either the plain-font title, or the antique, rather than using both. The antique might lend itself to the 'younger' look you might be going for. The author name also needs to be slightly larger.

Title: 1/2The one-word title is intriguing and works a bit with the statue on the cover, but the connection with the story is a tad scarce.

Blurb:2/4I loved Othello as a kid, and I love it still as an adult. Is Jaime Kenneth supposed to be Iago? Or Othello? A mix of both?

A few notes: 'As the most ambitious and brilliant student' at what school? I'm not entirely sure you even need this bit, unless it ties in to him being a royal jerk. Or he loses his spot because of the betrayal?

'However, he is betrayed.' You could just leave that thought there. Adding 'in the end' makes it seem like there's a whole other story going on before we get to this one, rather than keeping the focus on what happens after he's betrayed. Or, alternatively, you could say something along the lines of, 'After he is betrayed by his friends, and loses his chance at being named HB, Jaime spirals out of control.' Or something. That is just a suggestion. The goal would be to provide just a bit more setting to connect the reader to the story. The 'Fueled by pure rage and vengeance, Jaime manipulates people's love and trust' is good. '... to lead every *one* of his enemies,' maybe? Nice stakes at the end, with the 'trying not to doom himself in the process,' but you could add just a hint of a question after that. 'But will revenge be enough to sooth his pain?' or 'But revenge is a double-edged sword, and Jaime is running out of friends." Or something. Just hint at the 'resolution' phase and question it a bit.

Total: 5 (I almost picked this up)

Reader 2:

Cover: 3/4 I really like your colour choices. It works well for a modern twist on an old story. The font you used for the title is great. I'm not certain if it needs the second "virtue" on top of it, and that distracts me a little from the main title. The quote (I assume) at the top - We are not who we are - is rather open to interpretation and somewhat ominous, and I quite like it. Personally, I would get rid of the italics, because the font is really thin they make it a little hard to read.

The name of the author is a bit difficult to read, could use a bolder setting on the font.

Overall, good job, might need some tweaks here and there but works well. 

Title: 2/2 Short and to the point. Works well both with blurb and the source material. I like it.

Blurb: 3/4  Very short, but outlines the story well. We have the protagonist, the conflict, and the setting, and it's all neatly explained.

It could do with a little bit more information on the betrayal itself, not much, but just enough to let your readers know why it was so important that it threw this boy on a path of destruction. There are also a few English errors, but those are an easy fix. 

Total: 8 (I'm interested in opening the book)

Reader 3:

Cover: 3/4  A lot about this cover works: the colour scheme (red/yellow), the placement of the statue, the large, antique-looking font and its placement. All engaging and nicely chosen.  What doesn't work for me and what might make me think twice about picking up this book: the statue is ugly (look at that guy's hair and nose shadow! Certainly, there are more attractive Romans!), and the doubled title. I'd think the book was called 'Virtue Virtue'. The antique script is enough, we really don't need a confusing modern version. I'm also not a huge fan of the font of the tagline at the top. I'd say you don't need a tagline at all with this cover.   

Title: 1.5/2 Why not? It's general, but it might relate to what's in the blurb. 

Blurb: 1/4

There are some errors in English in this blurb. "in the end", not "at the end" and "every single one of" not "every single of." That will cost you a point, right there. Make sure you get a native speaker to check your work or use Grammarly (it's free) ! With writing, the details and errors are far more obvious than when you're speaking. And YES they do matter just as much as the content of the story. This is writing after all -- grammatical perfection is a must. 

The way the story is presented in this blurb makes it sound fairly meh. There is little beyond personal revenge to interest the reader, so this might appeal to fairly mean people or sociopaths, but for the rest of us - -why is Jaime so bent out of shape? Why was being Head Boy so important? Or was it the nature of the betrayal? What really got his goat? 

Jaime doesn't sound like a likeable guy and his quest for revenge fairly shallow and egotistical, the way it's portrayed here. And that's where it's probably not going to sell. There needs to be a more convincing aspect in there. 

Good that you've put the Shakespeare reference there. If readers know it, they might me more interested in seeing what you've done with the original than they might be otherwise. 

Total: 5.5 (I've put the book back on the shelf)