The Gauntlet: Results and Reviews

Ten Years by FMM2310

Reader 2:

Cover: 2.5/4 This cover works for me and I'd pick it up to read the blurb. The arrangement of the design elements are engaging and it gives me a 9/11 disaster feel. It looks like things are going to get really, really bad!

What doesn't work for me so much in particular is the pica size of the title -- it should be much larger -- nor the colour, which might work better if it matched the orangey rust colour of the building or another element in the photo. You also don't need the 'by' with the author title. That sounds really school or like a press release and not what you would see on the cover of a novel. The author name could also stand to be more prominent.

Title: 2/2 Works. I'd go right to the blurb.

Blurb: 2/4

What, no airplane crash? No catastrophic disaster? I was expecting something far more dramatic from the cover.

First thing, you want to write your blurb in the present tense, even if the story is in the past tense. That's just a given. There are also some minor errors/typos (fate middles one more time? Maybe you mean 'meddles'? ) and some bumpy phrasing that could use ironing out.

All-in-all, this blurb isn't bad, but takes way too long to get across what is essentially a very clearcut and simple plot line. Let me take a crack at simplification...

"Edward, an English actor off to conquer Hollywood, and Leïla, a marketing exec from Casablanca on her way to a training seminar, end up on the same flight to the United States. Stuck in adjoining seats for the 11-hours, they strike up a conversation, sharing the most personal, intimate parts of their lives with each other. After all, they'll never see this stranger again. What do they have to lose?

Ten years on, Edward and Leïla meet again on a hilltop in London. (I don't know enough of the story to add in what happens at that meeting)

TEN YEARS is a story of lost and found, of parallel lives and chance encounters, of sense battling with sensibility, and heart with reason."

You may not like the phrasing I've used, but it serves as an example of how much can be economised and still get across the outline of the story in an engaging, informative way.

Total: 6.5 (I'm interested in opening the book)

Reader 3:

Cover: 3/4 Simple, but in a good way, although I would lower the author's name a bit. The red looks good against the blue of the sky. Very modern. My problem is that the photo is of a building in Japan, but they are flying to America via London, but thats nitpicky. The cover has a nice composition, and I can see why you chose it. Saying that, if I saw it without reading the blurb I would have thought it was going to be more of a drama than a romance, perhaps about Wall Street. It feels a little corporate. Although to be honest - the more I look at it the more it makes me think of 9/11 (the plane does slightly look like it's going into the building).

Title: 1.5/2 It's short and sweet, and I rather like it. It makes sense with the blurb, but it doesn't really tell us much. I can see why you chose it, but I also think you could do a little better.

Blurb: 3/4 The opening line is awful. I'm sorry, but it has to be said. It reads awkwardly, and it's a quote that is kind of relevant to the story, but the blurb could do just as well without it. Saying that - it might be a translation issue. Maybe "like you are arranging Scrabble letters"? According to google it would translate into "We can not put 10 years on the table as one spreads his letters to Scrabble" but that still reads a bit weird. I would just get rid of it.

Other than that, I'm quite interested in this blurb. It is a little over-stylised in parts, for example *of sense battling with sensibility* - I'm not sure if you are trying to make me think of old romances by putting that in, but it's not doing this blurb any favours. It's a tired, overused line.

Did you mean "as fate *meddles* one more time"?

I would be quite interested to read a little more about what happened to them in the ten years, or maybe just how the story will find them - are they much changed? Why are they both in London? What hill are they on? I'm thinking either Greenwich or Primrose, but would be nice to specify.

I would also like to see a little more about what they talked about on the plane, and how that left them. Were they disappointed to let each other go?

Saying all that, I'd be quite interested to read on. The premise is quite compelling.

Total: 7.5 (I'm interested in opening the book)