Order of the Phoenix | Year 1 Part 33

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"I feel as if I was blind without you, incapable of feeling anything but the dull echo of emotion."

The knew found clues into Harry Potters secret life intrigued and scared (y/n). It was like she had found herself in a labyrinth, one were she wanted to find the center, but equally as much wished she never entered. The only thing that kept (y/n) afloat was Draco and his mission to make up for all the time he spent with the Inquisitorial Squad.

It al started one Saturday when (y/n) had asked him to go to Hogsmeade with her. He had declined, though sadly, because he had a meeting with Umbridge. So, she went with Luna instead, who spent her time buying strange things to keep magical creatures away, all of which (y/n) had never heard of. Then on Sunday, Draco cancelled their study date to pick up some slack on the rounds one of the members was meant to do, but missed.

Wednesday (y/n) caught him after Divination and suggested they go by the Black Lake.

"Come on," (y/n) cooed, touching the lapel of his Slytherin robes "We can sit and just, talk." She tried to be as persuasive as she could, batting her lashes up at him.

For a moment his cheek turned pink, but it was gone as fast as it came, and he nearly sneered at her.

"I told you, I have rounds for Umbridge." He said in a callous tone.

(y/n)s heart dropped a little, because she was one of the only people that almost never saw that side of him. She looked towards her shoes and muttered, "I just want to spend some time with you..."

Draco's face softened, but he stuck to his words.

"I'm sorry, I'll see you tomorrow." he walked away, leaving (y/n) in the hall.

It continued like this for another week, until he Blaise and Maddison in the corridor, holding hands. Maddison looked day him, smiling as he talked, and he realized how much he missed (y/n). He was slowly turning colder without her, and almost forgot about what he used to be like on the inside. Now, he put on his act, but he wasn't nearly as bitter or angry than he was before his fifth year.

So, late at night in his dormitory while everyone was sleeping, he wrote (y/n) a letter, a love letter, he supposed.

His hand shook as he thought of just the rights words to use, hoping that whatever he said conveyed was he was really feeling inside; empty without her by his side. He dipped his quill into deep black ink and began to write in his beautiful cursive longhand.

My Darling Flower,

I can not begin to start this with anything other than the most sincere and sorrowful apology humanly possible. I am sorry for so many things, things of which you may hate me, even despise me for, but the one I regret the most is not loving you with the infinite attentiveness and concern you deserve. When I say I would and will do anything for you, I mean it more than I've ever meant anything in my entire lifetime, or will, for that matter. You are the only thing I wish to see for the rest of my life, the only person I wish to hold tenderly, the only one I desire. You make everything matter more than it did before, you make the colors more vivid and the songs more beautiful to my ears.

I feel as if I was blind without you, incapable of feeling anything but the dull echo of emotion. In a world were I am so unsure of everything, you are the one and only thing that I know. I know that I am yours, if you were to still take me, and I ask that you have me forever and ever. I do not crave to belong to anything or anyone other than you, for you have enraptured me beyond any control. You are the beginning of my story, and the day you are no longer in my life will be my last page. Somehow, in the chaos of life I had forgotten my ties to your soul.  This is my greatest mistake and I will never make it again.

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