Beautiful Boy ➶ l.s

17- Skinny love

{ chapter dedicated to @nerdybird19 x }

{ song for this chapter is Skinny Love by Birdy bc ohmygod why not? }

~IM FUCKING SRS WHEN I SAY I CRIED WHILE LISTENING TO IT AND WRITING THIS FML~

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"But Lou? Why're you screaming?" I slurred, in my own little world as I tried my best to block out his screaming voice.

"The fuck you mean why I'm screaming!? You can't come to my house at 2 am in the fucking morning, drunk and expect me to welcome you with a smile and welcoming arms!" Louis raised tone broke, tears streaming down his face. I just frowned because sometimes he's just so annoying.

"Cut me some slack, Lou. God, sometimes you're just annoying!" I spoke, trying to even his tone.

"Me? Annoying? Really Harry? Since when!?" He asked, trying to smooth his broken voice with some anger.

"Ever since we started dating!" I shot back, and silence suddenly fell upon us. His jaw was slightly hung open, his red, swollen eyes locked with mine- so much disbelief and hurt in them.

"Then congratulations, we're not together anymore" He audibly whispered, gaze dropped to the ground as mine was too, the sound of the door's click close latched my attention to the place he stood moments before.

"What the hell have I done?" I asked myself, tears pricking down my cheeks. I then glanced at the bracelet locked on my wrist. Our promise bracelet.

"You'll always be my beautiful boy, baby.." Written in bold cursive, I couldn't help the ache at the middle of my heart. This couldn't be happening.

"What are you thinking about?" An angel appeared next to me, his voice and looks somewhat similar. His hand rubbing my back isn't really making anything better.

"After life, it's so damn confusing" I huffed out in annoyance, making the angel chuckle.

"Then, just follow your heart.." His soft whisper made me shoot him a look of confusion.

"What?" I asked, standing up as the angel did so.

"Follow your heart.."

-

I'm tired. The fact have hunted me for so long; how could I make things right? I've tried, talking to him. I've tried contacting him in every way possible. But the only thing was that I could write, that only poem and yeah, now I knew I can walk through walls and be permanently invisible.

You know, people aren't always right. Every person has his own stars. There are ones that glisten and light the dark sky, and some who barely shine, and dully stay in place. Mine were ones that were always glistening. That's because Louis was there, beside me. Life without him is unimaginable, indescribable and unbearable.

There's this quote I've read once, that said 'if you want the rainbow, you have to deal with the rain'. Exactly the key to patience. But, the thing is, dealing with the rain is harder than I ever thought it'd be. It's been months, and I've still dealt with the whole situation. It wasn't really my fault since I haven't killed myself, at least I don't think I did?

Back home, we had this steep hill that had a view to the whole city, and I'd always go there at night, to clear some thoughts. I'd glance at the lightened city, thinking that my soulmate is somewhere out there, I just have to keep looking. Keep searching for the light to my really dark soul.

When two soul mates meet, it's like a new book. The feeling of the smooth paper between your delicate finger tips, and the smell of wood still latched to the pages. That's how it felt having Louis beside you, calling him mine, it felt as if my life was a new book.