Reality in Motion

five stages of grief

Her hand reached across the table, comfortably settling into his. Fingers wrapping around his hand, she let her thumb roll around the knuckle of his finger. At the motion, he glanced down at the way their hands were intertwined. He wasn't expecting it, but it certainly wasn't unwelcomed. It was warm and soft, but had a bit of strength beneath it that he knew she had.

"How've you been?" her voice got his attention and his eyes shifted up to her face to meet her warm, sort of curious smile. Like she was genuinely wondering how he had been over the past several months. It had been such a long time since someone had asked him that, that for a moment, he didn't know how to respond.

His immediate instinct was to lie and say he was fine. Cause physically he was, not emotionally though. But then he remembered all the times Q would ask him a similar question and how good it felt afterward when he ended up telling the truth. He wondered if it would still feel the same even though she wasn't the one asking the question.

"Honestly?" he answered her question with another question and a slight eyebrow raise. His tone was enough to make her laugh a little, thinking it was a joke, but he had never been more serious.

"Of course." she shifted in her chair, arm folding across the table and hand coming to lay against her other forearm. Her hand was still holding his, thumb still softly running over his knuckle. She gave him a kind smile, one that reached her eyes. "It's been a minute since we talked." she reminded him with a slight downtilt of her chin. He couldn't help but let out a small scoff.

"Well, a lot's happened since then." he heaved a heavy sigh as if trying to exhale the weight of everything that had settled on his shoulders after the events that happened the last time he was in DC. He used his free hand to twist his coffee cup against the table so he could grab it by the handle and take a sip, "How's the Agency?" he asked, shifting the attention onto her. Deflect and redirect. Q's voice echoed in the back of his head. But if Sharon knew what he was doing, she didn't comment - answering his question with a brief summary about her new life in the CIA: similar to SHIELD, but with more rules and she might be getting a promotion soon.

"If you're ever in the mood to join the team, just let me know." she offered after finished talking about her time there. He gave her a slight smile,

"I'm on quite the team already." he referenced the Avengers without name-dropping them. She gave him a smile and a nod, "But thank you." he added with a slight lean forward, not wanting her to think he was ungrateful. He wasn't, but after what happened at SHIELD there was also no way he would ever be working for a government organization again. Thankfully, the Avengers operated on their own which meant they could help the people that really needed help or go after the things that were actually threats.

For a while, the conversation between them was easy and simple. Basic catching up topics were discussed, mainly focused on her and her life. What she was doing at the agency, how the clean-up was going from the Triskelion falling, and even the weather. But he still hadn't answered her original question. Which she ended up bringing up again when the conversation dried out.

"I feel like we've spent all this time talking about me, but you still haven't told me how you're doing or what you're doing." she reminded him from behind her coffee mug. A caught smile spread across his face while he glanced away from her for a moment, taking in the DC coffee shop they had been sitting in for over an hour.

Originally, he had come to DC to visit Peggy. It had been a while since he had seen her last; he had gotten so caught up with finding Q that he let other things fall to the wayside. But since coming to terms with the fact that she wasn't coming home, he realized he had ignored a lot of other important things. Like Peggy.