His Nerd with Benefits

27

Olivine's pov

"and what about college?" I asked him as we walked hand in hand along the sides of the play ground. It had been a while since both me and Nicholas had spent some time together and I suggested that we should meet up, so here we are.

"what about it? " he asked chuckling a bit but stopped when he saw the seriousness on my face. "you can't be serious Liv. I'm not going to any college." Nicholas said in a defensive manners that made me furrow my brows.

"and why is that? Every other teenager is going to college Nicholas. And to be honest there's not much time left, we will have to start applying sooner o---"
"well you forgot a little detail there Liv, not every other teenager has a criminal record like mine. Not to mention they don't suck in studies like I do. " he said stating the facts but I knew better.

"you can have really good grades if you try Nicholas. You are literally the second most smartest person I've ever met! And you are the star player. We can try for soccer scholarships and all. And I'm sure if we can just show them how good you are they will be willing to overlook your criminal record. Plus you're acting like you're a big bad murderer with so many bad records. " I said as we sat down on a bench looking at the children playing at a distance.

"I wish Olivine. But it's not going to happen. I've already screwed everything up might as well not try to correct them now, it's not going to work anyway. I'm sure. " he repeated himself again. It didn't scare me to see him give up, to see him try to avoid all this, because honestly, it was something I had expected. But what did scare me what the sureness, the belief that he had in his failure. The determination in his voice when he said that he would never get into a college, that scared me.

Determination is a key, which when used in a positive way could open the door to success but when used in a negative way, will always lead you to failure.

"you should not give up Nicholas. I know we can work something out. It's going to be a bit hard but-"

"it's not going to work out Liv! It's just the person I am! Liv, for God's sake, tell me, do you see me in a college? In a college studying with normal people? Or do you see me out here dealing and working! And football? I'm not going to turn to Messi or Ronaldo in a day that they will give me a soccer scholarship. Do you have any idea how many people apply for that thing?" all of a sudden Nicholas just snapped. Snapped and started shouting these things out at me. Things that were the hard truth but at the end of the day, truth can be modified. Truth can be changed if you work hard enough. Future can be changed with just the right amount of hard work.

After his outburst we sat there silently for a few minutes looking at the children in playing in the playground.

"that one's so fat. " I blurted out giggling softly as I looked at the little girl who was so cute. She was absolutely round and chubby and was running around with the other kids with two pig tails on the head.
"you're so mean Liv, she's literally the cutest one there. " Nicholas replied laughing as well.
"look at that one. " he said looking at another kid far away from the crowd. He was playing in the sand alone with his mother sitting by him, playing with him.

"I used to be that kind-of a kid you know. Before Katherine came by anyway, then it would be two of us. Then after a few years the boys came along. "
"and you all have been together ever since. " I finished the sentence for him and he looked at me smiling.

"yeah. They are like brothers to me. They're special. " he said smiling and I nodded looking away from him.

"brothers are pretty special. "

"hey, don't you have a sister? "Nicholas asked snapping me away from my thoughts and I nodded.
"yeah, she lives in a hostle, we don't meet or talk much." I replied back quickly. Thankfully Nicholas got the hint and didnt question me any further.

"what about you? You're going to college right? "Nicholas asked looking ahead and I nodded.
"I'm trying for Yale and Harvard. " I replied and Nicholas sighed.
"of course you are. Only the best right? " he asked and I nodded.

"when you get into that.." he started but stopped midway. After a few moments of silence I asked him myself, "first, if I get into that and second, can you continue please? " I said and Nicholas, instead of replying just stared back at me.

"you know I care about you a lot right? " he mumbled and I froze not knowing what to say.
"Liv, it's not the pause challenge, you can breathe you know. " he laughed and I suddenly realized how out of breath I was and started to take in deep breaths.

"well if I don't, you should know that I do. I care a lot about you Liv" he repeated himself and I nodded hugging him refusing to look at him in the eye.

"it's cold today. " Nicholas mumbled against my hair as he hugged me back tightly and I closed my eyes...

...And in this life, love is something we can't afford.
... You think I don't know that?...

... No matter what you are in the moment, don't ever forget your identity...

"I care about you too Nicholas, I care about you too... "