I Actually Married A Muslim!

22: "What if" Headache

Chapter 22: "What if" Headache

Things never go as planned.  If I had a penny for everytime I repeated this phrase, I'd probably be a billionaire right now. 

Well maybe not a billionaire, but I'd still have a considerable amount of money.

What am I talking about?

The plan was to tell Zayn about my intentions in asking for Sarah's hand but everytime I tried, something came up.

Not to forget that I suddenly realized there were many things that might push Sarah to turn me down.

I mean, who's to say that she isn't still mourning her dead fiance?  It's been almost a year since that tragic incident. Maybe a little bit more, but still.

And let's say she's not mourning him, what if she doesn't like me?

What if she has someone else in mind?

What if the fact that...

All the what-ifs were starting to suffocate me.

I guess this is why I hate planning.  The more you plan, the more what-ifs.

However, if you choose to live an easy life like me, you'll be much better of.

Just say and do whatever comes to mind.  No plans.

Only drawback is, you'll have to suffer the consequences later... But that's better than the what-if headache, right?

Come on, Adam, be a little more confident! I urge myself Why would she reject you? You're good looking, smart, funny.....and, I don't know... You have quite an admirable meme collection.

Also, you--

"Adam?" I was interrupted by the very person who was causing me the stress of a lifetime.  In other words, Sarah.

"Oh hey Sarah." I reply, pretending to be busy going through the graphs and plans on my desk.

"Have you seen the SOP manual?" She asked, nonchalantly.

I pointed her to where I saw it last and sunk back in my thoughts.

A text message notification pulled me away from my head. It was Zayn.

Zayn: Adam, do you wanna have some coffee later? There's something I'd like to talk to you about.

I typed a quick reply and saved the date and time. Waheed, Zayn, Sam, and I had eventually formed a tight friendship. You know, that one group of people you have the "Boyz" group chat with? Yeah. Basically It. We would meet every week or every other week, watch sports and play video games and do "grownup" boy things.

I set my phone down and sighed. My headache wasn't getting any better so I asked to be excused early today. I never use my sick time and there was an hour left for the end of the day anyway.

*********************
Zayn sipped his coffee and munched on his cream cheese bagel.

"So." He said.

"So...?" I said back.

"What do you think of my sister?" He asked.

I want to marry her, buy a few acres and build a family on a homestead with her. I want to protect her and provide for her, be the kind of man she can lean on. I want to be the kind of man she looks at and thinks "I love this man."
...Is what I want to say.

What I did say, however, was not a fraction of that.

"I think she's a hard-working, God fearing woman." I said, carefully.

Zayn nodded thoughtfully.

"Do you think she possesses the qualities you would look for in a significant other?" He said, articulating his words almost just as carefully as I had mine.

"Possibly, probably. I feel like a wise woman like her would make a great wife. If I ever get married, I would hope it's with someone who possessed similar qualities." My words are serious and unfaltering. They were nothing but the truth, if not all of it. I mean, I'm not going to tell this man about how badly I wanted to marry his sister.

That simply won't make any sense.

Once again, Zayn nodded.

"I hope my sister marries someone like you too."

His words gave me courage. I felt like he was giving me the green light. He didn't say explicitly but my brain definitely interpreted it as such.

"Hypothetically speaking, if I were to ask for your sister's hand in marriage, do you think your family would approve? Do you think she would?" I paused, "I'm only asking to get a feel of the culture. You know? Time doesn't stop for anyone and at some point, you gotta take some major steps." I emphasized.

"I think," he said, "that if that happened, hypothetically, they would all be thrilled."

I sighed.

I could put this off for another eternity, or I could put it out there right now and get it out of the way.

I chose the latter.

"Zayn, brother, I'm going to be very honest with you." I said, "I'm very interested in Sarah. I would like to proceed in a halal manner and arrange a meeting with you and your parents but I have no idea how to go about it."

Something flickered in his eyes. It wasn't disapproval, nor was it anger, it seemed more like excitement.

"I know this isn't something you want to hear a man say about your sister, but the Prophet peace be upon him did say that when a man gets married he has fulfilled half his deen, half his religion," I took a deep breathe, "and I've been praying that she's the one with whom I fulfill half my deen, if Allah wishes."

I studied his face and waited for him to say something.

He leaned back and brushed his hand through his hair.

"Are you ready for the responsibility though?" He quizzed, "Marriage isn't a game and when you're in, you're IN, you know?"

I nodded.

"I know Zayn, I've given this so much thought. I just hope you know that I don't mean to toy around with your sister's heart or anything. I have no ill intentions" I rubbed the back of my neck and grinned at him, hoping I could charm him into somehow helping me with this.

He smiled softly.

"I'll talk to our folks and see what I can do about this, Adam." He grabbed his coat and pushed his seat back in.

*************
That night, I slept with a peaceful mind and joyful heart. I had a good feeling about this. Good things were coming, God willing, and I was going to simply ride the wave and see how it goes.

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Author's note:
Selam and Hello friends :)
It's been while but I'm back alhamdulilah.

How are y'all doing? How's everything? How's life?

I appreciate your patience and love throughout my disappearance, and I will do my best not to disappoint <3

I'm very touched to see that this book has over 60K reads so far mashallah and that it's currently #2 in the "halal" Tag 🥹

Thank you all soo much!!