Freak Bitch//Bluek47

Chapter 14

Johnathan

"I mean I'm not fully sure if I love him I'm more so scared to, you know?"

"Scared of what nigga? It's obvious that Tay is all for you. Hell, he even takes care of your child. What you did was fucked up." Jamell ranted.

"Yeah, you ain't shit for that." Kentrell co-signed.

I'm at Ken's house for a quick smoke and vent session, getting yelled at by him and Melly. While Nick and Tay were at the mall with Jo.

"I just don't want things to get fucked up you know? I wanna apologize but like I don't want it to seem half-assed. I don't really know what to do though.".

"Apologizing is all about owning and accepting your wrongdoings, saying you're sorry and making sure not to fuck up again. You can get him gifts and spend time with him too but y'all have to move past this together."

"But actions speak louder than words." Jamell chimed in.

"True but the issue has to be addressed first. Something like this can't really be swept under the rug. You hurt Taymor whether he showed it or not. Own that." Kentrell added as he rolled a new blunt. I really feel like trash.

"Yeah, he's right, telling someone who obviously loves you that you don't love them is shitty. And to top it off yall had sex after that, AND, you still got him taking care of your baby. That boy probably feels like shit right now. You know what? Get out. You can't hang until you apologize to him." Jamell finished his mini-speech by getting up and opening the door for me to leave.

"Fine fine, I'll go say sorry."

．。．:*･ﾟ ☆．。．:*･ﾟ☆．。．

I decided to stop by the store first, trying to find a decent gift. As soon as I walked in I realized that I was going to need some help. Department stores aren't really my thing, neither is shopping for other people. Unlike most, Taymor had practically everything. He always fronted like he was broke but he's actually really good with money and has fucking stacks. Anything he wants he buys it as soon as possible so I'm just really at a loss. I continued to wander around by myself for a while before calling a nearby worker.

"Aye excuse me can I get a little help please?"

"Yeah sure, what do you need?" The guy asked as he turned to face me.

"I need to find a gift for my... friend."

"Ok cool just tell me a little more about them."

I began to tell him about Taymor, trying my best not to make eye contact or stare for too long. The guy looked just like Chris, but only older of course. From the freckles to the crooked smile. I would've sworn they were twins but as far as I know, Chris was an only child. I don't know what to do or say right now. He even sounded similar. Soon enough we were walking around the store making light conversation and picking gifts. I was happy, giddy even. I haven't felt like this in a long time.

．。．:*･ﾟ ☆．。．:*･ﾟ☆．。．

I got the gift for Taymor, it was a really cute photo book filled with pictures of us doing randomness and exchanged numbers with the boy. He told me his name is Christian. Anyway, I was heading over to Tay's house now. I knocked and he answered, looking slightly upset.

"Hey Blue." He greeted, stepping aside to let me in.

"Hey, can we talk?"

"We talking right now." He shot back. I could hear the exhaustion in his voice.

．。．:*･ﾟ ☆．。．:*･ﾟ☆．。．

I had given him the gift, apologized and some more. But what happened? Not a damn thing. Instead of just accepting my apology like a regular person, he had an attitude about everything. Constantine brushing me off, making snarky comments, and for fucking what?

"Taymor, what the fuck is wrong with you? Like for real? You're pissing me off."

"I'm pissing you off? Tell me something, is this apology even genuine?" He snapped back, even when he spoke in such a hushed tone you could still feel the anger.

"What the fuck do you mean?"

"Is it genuine, is any of this shit for real? Honestly speaking, I feel like I'm just some pitstop for you. A place holder so that you don't get bored. Do you know how that shit makes me feel? To practically be your on-call cum rag?"

Oh...I see what this is really about now. I just wanted to apologize for how rude my response was, but he wants me to apologize for not loving him.

"Taymor...how long have you loved me?"

His entire demeanor changed. His shoulders slumped, his face softened, and now he looked as though he could cry.

"What?" He asks in a voice so low that it was barely audible.

"Taymor, I told you about this! I told you to tell me when you caught feelings! I was trying to avoid shit like this!" I yelled I was beyond pissed now. Why wouldn't he say anything?

"Don't yell at me." He mumbled again, heartbreak evident in his tone.

"Then fucking answer me!"

"I-i don't know."

"Fuck you mean you don't know?"

"I've always had feelings and didn't wanna lose you. I'm sorry."

I shook my head, laughing to myself. I guess this shit ends here. I started walking to the backroom to get JaVaughn when Taymor interrupted me. 

"If your gonna leave then leave, but please don't take him too."

"Fuck you mean? That's my son, not yours."

"Sorry."

I pushed past him and walked back to Jo's room, he was sound asleep but would just have to deal with being woken up. I grabbed him and a few other things before walking back out. He was quiet until he saw Taymor. He thrashed around a little bit until I put him down. I stood by the door waiting for him to finish talking with Taymor.

"Tay Tay, why crying?" He asked

"I'm just a little sad right now."

Jo gasped and hugged Taymor, "No Tay Tay, cheer up."

After pulling apart from the hug Jo did the baby equivalent of tickling someone by just twisting his hand around. Taymor forced a laugh and hugged him again.

"Thank you, JoJo." He kissed his forehead and pushed him along to me. "You gotta go with daddy now okay?"

"Okay, I go daddy, see you later TayTay."

"See you later Jojo."

"I love you." Jo waved as we walked towards the door.

"I love you too," Taymor called back as we left, his voice cracking as he did so.

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WELP......yeah sorry lmao. Ummm, hope you not too pissed at me, byee love you.
-Troi💔🦑