A collection of self-help ideas, motivation, story rejects, poems, and bits of humor for the sad soul. These are random bits of satirical, sarcastic and upright stupid nonsense compiled into a creation that's meant to help average teenagers get out...
One of the things I struggled with for years is feeling confident in any aspect of my life. However, right now I'm going to focus specifically on body confidence.
One thing I want to mention before I get deep and philosophical here is that girls aren't the only ones who struggle with self-image. Boys, contrary to stereotypes, have feelings too. I wish I could find the artist for the chapter picture I chose so I could tell them to include some more masculine characters. (Idk how many of those characters define as female so, don't wanna be rude. Also, digging the Muslim representation.) I think when people talk about body confidence, they are more likely to focus on female body confidence. What they don't realize is that men are being overlooked. I can't accurately describe self-image feelings as a dude, seeing as I don't have any balls, but I asked my guy friends for some feedback and here is what they said.
'Long story short I really don't think body positivity between a guy and a girl is all that different, many of the things people are self-conscious about applies to both genders. Honestly, as a guy and speaking based on my own experiences, guys normally tend to be less open about it than girls and one of my biggest insecurities is the feeling that as a guy nobody really gives a crap how I feel. When a girl dislikes her body she's built up and told how perfect and beautiful she is just the way she is and how terrible people who think different are. When a guy dislikes their body it's seen as attention-seeking and overly sensitive and some people (myself included) tend to internalize a lot of things because of this. Heck, oftentimes the things we hate about ourselves are hammered in by other people who write it off as "just playing around" when it would be considered bullying if it happened to a girl. Anyway [omitted] I just thought it may be something to keep in mind.'
-Direct SMS from a friend who wishes to remain anonymous
Thank you for your powerful words. (Great guy by the way; awesome friend).
In any case, I think it's safe to say that everyone, no matter what gender, has degraded themselves at one point or another. If you tell me you haven't you're either 6 and haven't experienced life yet, or you're lying. I'm here to say what you probably hear a lot: YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL. Whether you are a guy or a girl or an alien from outer space, no one compares to your beauty. The beauty standards of the world don't matter, because no one can top your spirit and your personality and the way you smile and the way you carry yourself.
The thing about self-image is that you can't suddenly feel beautiful or feel confident in yourself. Like I mentioned before, I struggled for years trying to look at myself without comparing myself to all my friends. I would tell myself things like, "lose weight", "put some makeup on", "bleach your teeth", "you need lotion every day", "your eyebrows are too bushy", "your eyes are too small", "you aren't enough". And that was only the physical side of it. (We'll get to mental health later).
It took a break-up, the realization that cutting doesn't help, finding that my mom shouldn't dictate what I choose to look like (to a certain extent. Mom, if you ever read this, please tell me I'm an idiot if I ever decide to tattoo Tom Hiddleston's face on my thigh), and the support of my friends to find that it's all in the mindset. It didn't exactly happen spontaneously, but one day I decided to go throughout my day without makeup on. No mascara, nothing. (Usually, I wore makeup every day, and a LOT of it.) I was really self-conscious about it at first. But, once I realized that no one was looking at me any differently than they had before, I got braver. I actually went up to talk to people instead of wallowing in a corner of pity waiting for someone to approach me and be my friend. And that's when I started to get better.
Before this past year, I was always either by myself, or with Rick (the guy from before?), and I distanced myself from any friends. Once I had time to do what I wanted and think about myself more, I began to realize that I was beautiful without makeup. That I didn't have to hide in a corner. That all those thoughts from before prevented me from being the class clown I used to be in elementary school. It took me a long 5-6 years to realize anything. I'm just now discovering my life-long friends. I'm just now being the real me. I can get out of the shower and look at myself and smile because I know that if I want to attract anyone, whether it be amicably or romantically or any other way, I first have to love myself.
Honestly, I think that's one of the reasons I like BTS so much. I don't understand a single word, but I've read some translations and watched interviews and read up on stuff, and many of their songs deal with self-love and accepting who you are and a LOT of it is about mental health. Even though I can't understand the words, I can feel the meaning. I apply that to body confidence as well. It's not about how you look. It's about how you feel and how you act. Even if you aren't confident in yourself now, start faking it. Pretend you are different for now, and the more you try to convince other people, the easier it is to believe it. And once you convince yourself, your entire perspective will change.
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"Say all the worst things you think people will say about your body," she told me. "Now imagine someone is saying those things to your best friend. What would you do?"
"I'd tell them to shut up," I said.
"What else."
"I'd tell them they weren't allowed to speak to anyone like that. That they have no right. That they're in no position to judge."
The lesson was clear. I wouldn't let someone say those things to a friend, so don't say those things to myself.
We are all our own worst critics. Be kind to yourself. It's free, and it's priceless."
-A Buzzfeed article for body confidence for men.
Here's the link: https://www.buzzfeed.com/danieldalton/i-myself-am-made-entirely-of-flaws
What to Take Away From This: To be confident in yourself, you have to embrace your imperfections and you have to tell yourself that you are beautiful, even if you don't believe it now or tomorrow. The more you find the beauty inside yourself, the more you will love the outside too. Don't hesitate to ask for help!
Thank you for reading, hope your day doesn't suck! -Sam
