The Fifteenth Year

February: Part 5

Sunday, February 6, 2005

Dear Friend,

All weekend I've been pretty much cooped up in my room. I'm so upset with my parents. I can't even look at them. Plus, being in my room forces me to crack down on studying for a test I have in health tomorrow. My mom keeps trying to coax me out of the room.

"Sweetie, please," she pleads behind the door after a gentle knock. "It's the Super Bowl. Even Brendan's here. We're all downstairs."

"No. I'm studying," I said. "I'm not coming out."

"But Paul McCartney is doing the halftime show. You love his music."

"I just want to be alone."

She sighed. "Okay, sweetie. I'll bring up some of my bean dip in a little while."

Oh, great. Pity food.

Monday, February 7, 2005

Dear Friend,

I guess all that studying paid off. I feel confident that I did well on that health quiz. So my heartache wasn't completely in vain. I refused to believe though that dating Jason would take a blow to my grades. It's like my dad isn't even giving this any thought. I want a chance. I've waited so long for this guy to take one hard look at me, show him the love I feel for him, and explore all that we could be. I'm beginning to wonder if my dad every thought about me getting married before. Does he really want three sons with careers? Why is it so important that I graduate college and do something incredible? I wish I understood. If I'm going to lose Jason, I need closure to make my peace with it.