The Fifteenth Year

January: Part 10

Friday, January 21, 2005

Dear Friend,

Jason and I must've sat under that tree for a couple of hours (it was a school night). We determined that we weren't going to tell our families immediately. Hoe in the world could we explain something to them that we were still figuring out ourselves? It's a confusing thing. Jason and I have feelings for each other and we kissed. We're not hitting rewind, but we're not exclusive either because nobody knows. We're taking it slow. We sort of have to try, right? Too many years of friendship at risk. And it's extra complicated when our families are so intricately tied, you know? Think Jenga tower collapse if we prematurely screw this up.

I should rephrase something though. My friends may have figured out something is going on. It might've been the goofy look on my face all day that gave it away.

Renee gave me a look like I had two heads while we sat together at lunch. "What'd you get an awesome grade on that science test we got back today?"

Chloe shook her head. "No, she told me she got a B. That doesn't warrant a smile like that anyhow."

Tessa smirked. "Okay, Miss Observant. Why do you think she's smiling like that?"

Chloe dropped her fork. Renee's judgmental look melted off. Tessa began hyperventilating.

"Ohmigod, ohmigod!" Tessa yelped, fanning her hands in front of her chest.

"That's a rom-com face..." Chloe whispered.

"No. Way." Renee's eyes narrowed into 'I call bull-crap' face.

"What?" I asked, suddenly sweating. I don't play dumb very well.

"You're blushing like a stove burner," Tessa snapped. "You totally hooked up."

"Shh!" I hissed, looking around. "Quiet, Tessa. We share this hour with some upperclassmen, you know."

"Don't change the subject!" Chloe exclaimed. "This is beyond amazing. What happened?"

I groaned. "We were going to keep it a secret..."

Renee scoffed. "Fat chance of that happening in this school. How do you plan on not getting caught?"

"We're not telling people until we figure some particulars out..."

"Start from the beginning," Renee said. "This sounds incredibly entertaining."

I relayed the whole story to them, and made them swear to secrecy.

"So what now?" Chloe asks.

"Yeah," Tessa wondered, "are you guys going out? Are you a couple?"

"I mean...I think so?"

Renee groaned. "I will punch him if..."

"What? What?" I asked, suddenly fearful.

"Is he avoiding labeling it, Cassie? Because I swear to God, if he is..."

"No! No! He...he likes me. I know he does." I flinched. I sounded like these awful mistresses convinced their boyfriend is going to leave his wife.

"Get a label for whatever it is you are. You better not be his dirty little secret," Renee said.

"Hey," I said, defensive. "Keeping it on the down-low was both our idea."

"Fine. Well, has he asked you out on a date yet?"

I was starting to feel more nervous. "No..."

"Don't listen to her, Cassie," Chloe said, frowning at Renee. "I'm sure he's planning his next step as we speak. You don't just pick out any old date for the girl you've known forever. You got to make it special."

"He better!" Tessa declared. "He only put her through the wringer for what? Six years, was it?"

I sighed. "I get it, guys. Thanks for bursting my bubble."

"Oh sweetie," Tessa encouraged, hugging me, "we're happy for you. We are. We're just protective is all. We don't want to see you get hurt again."

"Let us know what happens. We're behind you. I'm sure you don't have anything to worry about," Chloe assured me.

"Jason might," Renee answered, setting down her juice box. "He plays his cards wrong, his scrotum might be hanging from my rearview mirror."

"That...that's gross," I murmured between all my racing thoughts.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Dear Friend,

My parents and Rob's parents moved Brendan and Rob's furniture in today. My mom kept fussing about how fold out lawn chairs and a sun-bleached sofa that literally puffed dust when you sat on it were not appropriate accommodations for sweet poor boys living on their own.

"We'll be fine," Brendan kept assuring her with a one-armed hug. "Everyone starts off poor, right?"

"For God's sake, Susan," my dad huffed. "It'll be good for the boy. Toughen him up into a better man."

Brendan smirked. "Says the man who never puts away his own laundry."

"Watch it," my dad chuckled.

Jeremy set a box filled with Brendan's Sports Illustrated magazines by a little bookcase and asked when dinner was.

Once everything was brought in, Rob's parents asked if they were all settled and could unpack without assistance. "Yeah, we got this. Just got to put sheets on the mattresses and we're all set to sleep here tonight," Rob answered.

I bit my lip and looked at Brendan as our families left the room.

"Come here, squirt," he said, opening his arms for a hug.

"I'll miss you," I whispered. "This is weird."

"I'll call you if there are monsters under the bed," he kidded.

"I don't have my driver's license yet," I reminded him.

"You get your temps pretty soon. That's half a license."

I smiled. "I'm sure that argument will work great with the police when I explain that to them. 'Gee, officer, I only half broke the law. How about we let this slide?'"

"Did you take my advice?" he asked.

I nodded and answered carefully. "It's a work in progress."

"I'm glad you talked to him. Take care of yourself, little sister."

I smiled sadly. "You too."