In the Springtime of Life

Aftermath (NEW)

Aftermath.

I thought doing one simple thing without getting caught would be the easiest task in the world. My oh my was I wrong. My eyes rolled and I shook my head silently while huffing out an irritated sigh. I was beyond embarrassed and I was pretty sure I was close to a damn anxiety attack. The minute my mom walked through my bedroom door I was frozen.

Disappointed...And frozen. Which is not a good combination by the way.

I was disappointed in the fact that I did all that hard work, but didn't have my first orgasm. Insert dramatic head tilt with clear irritation. As embarrassed as I was, my young and naive mind was still hung up on the fact that I actually masturbated. Well to be technically...Actually, I'd rather not go into detail. At the moment I was hurridly redressing myself, which I don't think is a good idea. Mainly because I still feel certain wetness between my legs. I felt a little dirty putting on my clothes without taking a shower first. I read somewhere that it's good to pee and shower after sex. I wonder if its the same when it comes to masturbation. I mean masturbation is a form of sex, right?

I think I just learned a new lesson today. It's better to not do something that you have no understanding of.

After getting dressed, I made a quick stop to the restroom to do my business. You know, just in case. I mean I wouldn't want to get a UTI just from doing sexual things to myself. I then crept down the stairs slowly trying to prolong the conversation my mom and I are going to have. My palms became as moist as the area I was fondling a few minutes ago and I felt an intense desire to run away while I still could.

Taking the final leap, I reached the bottom of the stairs and turned toward the living room. I saw my mom sitting on one of our green couches leaning down with her face between her hands. The closer I moved toward her, I could see her form shaking slightly and it worried me. I stood at least a few inches away from her and called her name. At the sound of my voice, she sniffled and looked up with her eyes rimmed red.

"Mom. What's wrong?" I kneeled in front of her.

"You're growing up so fast. Too fast. Mia...You shouldn't have even..." She trailed off and I knew what she meant. Suddenly I felt very ashamed of my actions. I was so stupid and instantly I felt a sudden triad of feelings I've never felt before cloud my mind.

Dirty.

Disgusting.

Gross.

I guess I made some sort of facial expression that my mother caught because she immediately stood to attention. "I'm not saying this to hurt you, baby. You're just growing up so fast and to see you..." She trailed off and I nodded as if I understood. "My feelings don't matter. It's your body to do as you please. I just want you to be safe, okay?" She kissed the top of my head and gave me a watery smile.

"Okay." I stood to my feet and turned to leave the room.

"Now, how do you feel?" She questioned me. I turned my attention back to her in shock. I thought we were done conversing.

I shrugged in indifference. "I feel fine," Which was half the truth. If I was being honest. I felt a little like crap and thoughts of how terribly I should feel kept swirling around in my head. I had no idea why I was feeling this way. Apparently, I wasn't that much of a good liar because my mother saw through me.

Clearly.

"Sometimes after touching yourself, it can be normal to have or feel some type of way. As in thinking of yourself in a bad way or feeling this out of place guilt for making yourself feel good," She stated and gently took my hands in hers while I stared elsewhere. Knowing that I was about to get some facts from my mom who had to have common knowledge of this due to the fact that she was a nurse. "When you masturbate, your hormones will rapidly rise and when an orgasm happens there is a dopamine storm. Do you know what dopamine is?" I fought a blush as I shook my head no.

"Dopamine is a type of brain chemical called a neurotransmitter. It has its own reputation for being known as this 'feel-good hormone.' The words associated with it are feelings of bliss and euphoria. People mainly think it has to do with pleasure. Not just for sex or other stimulants, but also to help get you pumped or motivated to achieve something of high standards."

"Like an award?" I asked hesitantly.

"Precisely."

"Okay. So what does it have to do with..." I trailed off.

"Baby," She cooed and lovingly stroked my hair. "If you can't say it then you shouldn't be doing it," She teased and I blushed.

"Ha ha," I mumbled.

"Anyway, when you orgasm it causes dopamine to decrease and the sudden decrease can make you feel sleepy. However, if you stay awake it will induce mild depression for about twenty minutes. Which is why you may probably feel some type of guilt," She paused. "Or is that what happens to men? Whatever. If that's not the case and I'm totally wrong, then it has to do with you not accepting the fact that sexual activities are not bad."

"I'm not saying go out and have sex, but sometimes it's good to please yourself by yourself. I mean masturbation is healthy for you in some cases. You just have to be careful and safe. Alright?"

"Yes mom," I responded and after our little talk, I felt slightly better.

"You know I have to tell your father about this right?" She winked at me and smiled.

"Why?" I groaned.

"Well, we wouldn't him to find you in the same manner I did," My face contorted in cringe and I shivered as what happened when I was caught slipped inside of my mind. "Exactly. Also, when your father gets home, we will be having the talk."

Why me?

Why?

"Okay," I sighed as I already accepted my fate.

"Alright, now go take a bath and make sure to thoroughly clean yourself while I make dinner," I turned around and made my way upstairs. I just couldn't wait until dad got home. 

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Sorry for the absence LeGeNdS! I hope you enjoy this version better than the last. I wanted something more realistic and gain some knowledge. Now, I don't know if it's accurate, but that is as close as I got. 

P.S Google is my friend.

Haha, until next time.

~Ordinary_LeGeNd