Saviour

Twelve

I Don't Like This Chapter Honestly 😂😭 But Read Away.

Ignore The Errors

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Akeelah,

"You're Not As Special As You Think You Are, I Don't Know What I Ever Saw In You."

"You're A Cheap Ass Bitch."

"You Need Me More Than Your Next Breath, Cause I'm All You Have."

"I'm Doing You A Favor Keeping You Around Cause You Don't Mean Shit To Me."

"You Don't Deserve To Live."

I Cried As I Hugged My Knees "God Please Make It Stop."

I Just Wanted His Hurtful Words To Stop Haunting Me So Much, I Wanna Move On With My Life And Not Have To Worry Everyday About My Fucked Up Past. But How Do You Just Forget Years Of Misery? It's Tatted In My Brain Forever.

I Was Good At Pretending To Be Okay During The Day But At Night It's A Different Story. I Pretend To Be Okay Because It's What Chris Expects To See But In Reality I'm A Big Mess And I Can't Lie I Still Have Suicidal Thoughts. I Still Feel Useless, Ugly, Unworthy Of Love And Happiness. I Still Feel Like I'm Nothing, I Have Nobody, I'm Cursed.

Wiping The Tears Off My Face, I Laid Back On The Bed Staring At The Ceiling. There Was A Sudden Knock On My Door And I Jumped Sitting Up As I Cleared My Face.

"C-Come In." I Cleared My Throat, When The Door Opened Chris' Mom Walked In With Her Pajamas On, What's This Woman Doing Up In The Middle Of The Night.

"Hey, Sorry If I Seem Nosy But I Was On My Way Downstairs To Get Some Milk And I Heard Sniffles, Are You Alright?" She Asked Sincerely.

"Yes Ma'am, I'm Fine." I Smiled A Little And She Nodded But I Could Tell She Wasn't Buying My Story.

"You Know It's Not Healthy To Bottle Things Up Right Sweetie?"

I Looked Down Playing With My Fingers.

"Look I Don't Want You Thinking I'm Trying To Be All Up In Your Business But, I'm A Caring Person, If I Feel Like Someone Is Not Okay I'm Gonna Ask And Try To Find Out What The Problem Is."

"I Understand."

"So Are You Okay? And Don't Say You Are Because I Can See You're Not." She Glared Making Me Chuckle Slightly As I Dropped My Head Again.

She Walked Further Into The Room Leaving The Door Open.

"I Know You Were Crying, And Clearly It's Alot Weighing On Your Shoulders If You're Up At This Hour Wetting The Pillows With Your Tears." She Sat On The Edge Of The Bed.

"It's Nothing I Can't Handle."

She Nodded "Okay, But Just Know Christopher Is Here For You If You Ever Wanna Talk, I'm Here Too. I Know What It Feels Like Having No One To Talk To When The Walls Are Closing In, It's Like You're Suffocating And You Can't Do Nothing About It But Talking Normally Helps So I'm Offering You My Shoulder To Cry On If You Want To."

I Felt A Tear Fall On My Thighs As I Took In Everything She Said.

"I Don't Think I Wanna Live Anymore."

"Sweetheart Don't Say That. Do You Know How Precious Life Is?"

"Mine Is Anything But, I Feel Dead Inside, I Feel Like I Have Nothing To Live For. I'm A Mess Ma." I Started Crying Hysterically "I Just Wanna End It."