Red sorrow - Special A

Chapter 5

We were at the garden where we first met. In the same scene that kept coming to mind just the day before. Kei and I were walking together through the walls of fragrant flowers. We were just informed that we were going to be married when we grew up. I was now something called a fiancée. This was our first hour together, but I felt like I knew him already.

He was lonely. Through all my time with him so far, although it wasn't much, he hasn't even had a hint of a smile, let alone a laugh. His parents weren't with him much either, but he didn't seem to enjoy time with them when they were. He even react to his father when he explained my engagement to him. He had people with him, but he didn't seem to want to interact with them at all. He pushed everyone away, but to me, there was something different about him. Something about this boy just made me want to help him.

I heard what marriage is all about from my mother. She said when you are married, you have to love your partner and make him smile and laugh and be happy. I will make this boy smile. I will let him in my world and be by him so he won't feel lonely anymore. My little joys will be shared with him and we will be happy together.

I stopped and turned to the boy walking beside me. "Lets make a promise!" I said with a close eyed smile. He looked at me funny "Why?" he said rolling his eyes and starting to walk away from me, but I was determined to help him. "Because...because I want to! I want to make you smile! I want you to be happy!" I exclaimed. He turned around, a different emotion on his face now. I haven't seen this face before. He looked a little bit interested. "I promise to always be there for you and to make you smile. You aren't alone anymore" I said with a grin as I held my pinky out to him.

He looked surprised, like he has never heard those words in his life. He turned around and hooked his pinky around mine, his face went a little bit pink for some reason. "Then I promise to...to..." he faltered and looked away. I don't think he made a promise before. "You will be happy for me" I said cheerfully. He thought about it for a moment before saying "I promise", but not looking too satisfied with it. "Wait! I know! Since you will be there for me, i wont leave your side! I promise!" he mumbled just loud enough so I could hear a moment before I sealed the promise. I gave him a warm smile as I sealed our promise. "Thank you" he muttered before we emerged from the garden to meet with our parents.

I woke up from my dream and dragged myself to get ready for school, thinking about our promise for the whole time. 'When I said be happy for me, this isn't what I meant!'

I walked into the kitchen and sat down opposite to Kei. "Good morning Akane!" he said, unusually cheerfully. 'It's probably because he enjoyed himself at my house and is grateful for letting him over two nights in a row.' I thought to myself quickly before I could think anything else. Instead, I focused on poking the breakfast pastries on my plate with my fork. "Morning" I muttered back while stabbing a croissant. Nothing much was said after that. I didn't feel like eating anything so I just left for school when I felt I wasted enough time. "Have a nice day, Akane-sama! Kei-sama!" Suzume called from the hall as I left the doors and started for school. If only I could control how my days go.

"Are you okay Akane? I can tell the teacher you're sick if you want. Today is the exams too..." Kei said sounding worried. 'Why would you be worried, I've been already forgotten anyways' I quickly shook that thought from my head. "I'll be fine, don't worry. No need to try and get rid of me." I murmured distractedly 'not that you would anyways'. Oh yes, today is exams. On top of that, Hikari challenged us on them too. Oh joy.

"Are you sure? You aren't acting like yourself lately. Is everything okay?" he continued. At least he could tell this much, but couldn't he tell I didn't want to talk? Can't he tell that he's the problem? "Worry about yourself. Remember that Hikari challenged us on the exams. Did you study enough? If you lose you will always be inferior no matter what you do in your lifetime" I said trying harder to act normal. That brought a smirk to his face, "Well at least I'm not skipping classes and completely neglecting school right before the exams". Its true that I skipped classes and that I didn't study one bit for these exams, but it's not like I need to study and re-learn stuff.

The exams dragged on forever. I didn't feel like going though the motions of neatly doing work and re-checking it and all that, so I just scribbled down answers and handed it in. I finished all of my exams in a total of one hour and I found 4 mistakes in them which i boredly pointed out to the teachers before submitting the papers. I spaced out for the rest of the time while the others were finishing their math exams.

As usual, Megumi and jun got bored and Ryuu was busy worrying about them. I flicked tiny balls of paper at them to try and remind them of the exam but they got even more distracted so I just gave up. 'They will manage' Akira, Tadashi, and Kei were boredly writing down answers, while Hikari was scribbling furiously on her papers. After about 10 minutes, my mind kept wandering back to Kei.

I hated how I was so vulnerable to him. Every single time he showed emotion towards me, I melt. The fact that he seemed actually concerned about me. That he cared about me. It all made me feel special. Even though i know i'm not. It was impossible for me to believe in the fact that....that.... I desperately tried to focus on something, anything, to get my mind off thinking about him. I couldn't admit this. It can't be true. Everything is a misunderstanding. It must be! Maybe I should've worked slower on my exams.

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I dragged my feet towards the garden, my marks in hand. Today was oddly very tiring, although it was nothing comparing to the day I took these exams. As I shuffled through the doors toward everyone else, I saw Hikari proudly showing off her perfect score on the exams. 100%. Half way there, I saw Kei stand up and knock her down a notch with his 105% mark. I was greeted right away when I finally got to everyone, which I returned with some muttered hellos. I plopped down on a chair and straight away, Hikari asked what my mark was.

"Better than Kei's," I answered tiredly, "like always."

"How would you know?!?Just tell me your mark!"

"112%"

"WHAAAAAT?!?!?!" everyone yelled at the same time with disbelief written all over their faces. Hikari looked thoroughly defeated, but I didn't feel any of the usual satisfaction. Well, I didn't feel "usual" anyways, I guess.

"So, what were your marks?" I asked, just for the sake of asking. I would do that if I felt normal today anyways..

"Kei got 105% and I got-"

"100, I heard. Nice try though," I said sarcastically, sipping my tea. I looked up and was face to face with a confused looking Kei. "There were four mistakes on the exams Kei. You probably only found the one on the third page of the writing exam. LESS than 1% of water is drinkable, Stalagmites are found in limestone caves, and the last question on the science exam was a trick. The teacher wanted to give me more for that and my 'detailed and precise' answers but he couldn't give THAT much. 112% was already pushing it" I explained. His eyes widened and he frustratedly looked away. Normally, I would have started teasing him but right now, I just don't feel like it. I was exhausted from dumbly over-thinking almost every memory I had on kei being near Hikari since I took my exams, which is a lot.

Jun, Megumi and Ryuu seemed to notice my different behavior today too, since they were watching me very carefully. I smiled at them in an attempt to say "I'm okay". I tried to believe it too. I wanted to. All three slowly nodded, getting my message, but they didn't look one bit convinced. I don't know what they said, but I sighed when I heard Hikari's famous line, "DON'T CALL ME RANK TWO!!!!"