TWENTY-EIGHT – Evolving (Emotional Roller-coaster)
After Michelle was attacked she was rushed to hospital and had to endure the continuing nightmare of reliving that awful night every single time she saw her reflection in the mirror. He had done a real good job on her face leaving two nasty long scars on each of her cheeks and if that wasn’t enough she had an ugly gash on her forehead which she was advised by a lovely nurse that it would also leave a scar. She didn’t stay in hospital long only for two days as she discharged herself against the doctor’s orders but she had to get out of there as it was only doing her head in. Being coup up in there gave her plenty of time to think about her life and how badly things had turned out for her which only made her more depressed so she rang her dad and told him where she was and what had happened to her but of course editing parts where it suited her so that her dad wouldn’t know what she had become as now looking back she was totally ashamed with her behaviour. It was strange because even though her beauty had been scared she wasn’t filled with as much self pity as she felt disgusted by a lot of the acts she had committed against others, just so long as she benefited from it. She was very self centred and not a very nice person. She hadn’t always been that way and she couldn’t pin point at what time in her life it had transpired but she had changed and not for the better. As now she sat in the spare bedroom of her dad’s five bedroom house in Croydon and she was actually enjoying the peacefulness of this area. It was much quieter than Harlesden and this house was a really nice modernised detached that had its own gated driveway. Her dad and his wife both had good jobs and between the both of them they had created a very stable and loving foundation. She had to admit that deep down she was jealous of her half brother and sister because she felt that they had the perfect life that she wanted and never had but something had changed about how she felt about them now. Ever since she had arrived here they all had been absolutely fantastic towards her and not once did she feel like an intruder like she previously felt whenever she had visited them in the past. As for her step mum Beverly she hadn’t stopped fussing over her and she had even heard Beverly crying about what had happened the first night she was there. Her dad of course was so angry that he didn’t really want to talk about the whole ordeal, he acted as if nothing had change and she didn’t mind this either as it made it easier for her to be around him. But there was something that she hadn’t told anyone about that night she was attacked and that she had been raped and in the day time she was able to not think about it but come night time it was a whole different ball game as she had no control over what crept into her dreams and it was always the same nightmare of her being raped and sodomised by her rapist and it always finished with him climbing on top of her before he began slicing up her face like Freddy Kruger. The internal pain she felt was unbearable and she was now living on the strong painkillers that she was given after discharging herself. She lied every time she popped a tablet into her mouth and claimed they were for the pain she felt from the throbbing of her face, which they all brought every time and why wouldn’t they? So as she sat watching Beverly and her half brother and sister she suddenly felt like she was at home a feeling that she hadn’t felt since she was a child and she lived at home with her mother and her boyfriend. That was before her mother and her boyfriend decided to pack up their belongings and move back to Jamaica for good, not even giving her a second thought as her mother left her behind. Then over the years they just drifted apart until finally they stopped talking entirely and at first she really believed that it didn’t bother her but that was only a front, a front that she had built up to the point where she had even started believing that she didn’t care. Now as she watched how Beverly was towards her kids so motherly, she wished that she had her mother right here with her to give her a big hug. But there was one thing that kept her going and that was the promise her dad had made to her as soon as he spoke with the doctors when he came and collected her at the hospital. So as soon as her scars had healed he was going to pay for her to go private and get plastic surgery. The doctors had promised her and her dad that after the operation the scars wouldn’t be noticed at all so she hanged onto that and waited for that day to come. In the meantime she would stay hidden at her dad’s place where she felt safe and loved. She would also contemplate about her future and yesterday when her dad had come in from his own Building Construction Company he had suggested that she could come and work for him as his PA because the PA he has already will be going on maternity leave in four months. The idea was appealing to her and after deep consideration she was really warming to the idea. She would tell her dad when he got in tonight that she would do it as she didn’t want to be seen as a free loader. All she had to do was to have patience, enjoy being a patient and really get to know her extended family. The white flag had been wave between Beverly and herself as a truce without actual words being spoken. Then Beverly got up from the armchair and walked over to the three seat sofa where she was sitting very comfortable with the two cushions plumped up behind her back. Sitting next to her Beverly took Michelle’s hand and gently squeezed it as she looked deep into her eyes saying “Michelle baby, I want you to know that you can count on me and your dad to take care of you now. We want you to move into this family and even when you eventually move out, could be years from now but my point is you will still be a part of this family. I want you to think of me as your mother, I know I can’t replace your real mother, but I want you to count on me as one...only if that’s okay with you!”
“Yes Beverly I would really like that, I am so grateful to you for putting me up but I didn’t have anyone else to really call...” Michelle said diverting her eyes away from Beverly as she spoke but then Beverly interrupted Michelle when she said reassuring “Michelle don’t be silly, of course you should have called your dad...Thank the Lord that you did call him. This has been such a nasty piece of business what has happened to you and I only pray that the Police catch whoever did this to you...and then lock them up and throw away the key!”
“Well I wouldn’t hold my breath Beverly of them catching them and to be quite honest, I hope I never see them again...” Michelle concluded as she looked away and stared at the television even though she couldn’t tell you what was on as she wasn’t actually watching it. All she could see was the image of her rapist and she wished she had a better hold of her emotions then she did. She wondered how long she would have to endure with reliving that attack and only hoped that over time and a short period at that it would be erased from her fore front memory.
