CLUELESS HATE

III

Gini felt so much better as the locals embraced and comforted her. She had been scared of her father actually going on with the lie that she was raped. He obviously hadn't spread the news, if he had she'd have noticed from the way she was received.

Gini thanked everyone that came for the funeral as the ceremony ended. She stayed behind as they left and just stared at the freshly dug grave. It was just so weird that her father was dead. She'd shed several tears as the preacher talked about the afterlife. Her father was a mean man but he had his good side. He used to buy her expensive jewelry on her birthdays and he would also allow her take anything she wanted from his grocery store. When he wasn't angry, he was stable and affectionate. When Mama left for university, they used to watch TV together late into the night.

The anger was what ruined him. He'd hit her or anyone available when he was angry and she'd learnt at a younger age not to anger him. Even that day, she'd calculated everything. He'd left to the grocery store in the afternoon to balance the book. He'd told her to eat dinner without him since he would be coming back late. Things must have gone faster at the store because he came back quite early and caught her in bed with a boy.

Looking back, she realized how stupid she'd been. At fourteen, her mates were obsessed with sex and addicted to pornography. She'd watched a few on their phones herself and had her fair share of sexual fantasies. The first time she'd seen her crush, Juwon was in music class. He'd been playing a cello and his friends were making fun of him for knowing how to play several musical instruments. They'd called him 'Jack of all trade' and she'd interrupted their jokes and called him a genius. The smile he gave her after the compliment made her feel something she'd never felt before.

Her friends had joined her when Juwon and his mates left and she'd asked about him. Few of them knew him and they told her he was a year below them, but that didn't stop her from crushing on him. When she found out they were age mates, her attraction towards him intensified. He'd approached her after school one day and introduced himself. It turned out he lived few houses after hers.

Juwon became a constant fixture in her life after that. They went to school together and walked back home together. She got him lunch and he taught her more about music in their free periods. Everyone in school knew her as one of the best students in contemporary dance. Her plan was to go to a dance school after secondary school so when Juwon joked about watching out for her in one of her dance classes, her ego had been boosted. She'd been so glad to know he liked her as she liked him.

They'd stolen their first kiss when he was teaching her piano lessons one evening and it had been more than she imagined. The chemistry between them was so strong that they couldn't contain nor hide it. Her girlfriends soon knew she was into him and vice versa. She could even say they were in love.

The stolen kisses soon became inadequate. They wanted more from each other but were both nervous since they lacked the experience. The exploration of their bodies in an abandoned building at the back of his house filled the ache and burning desire between them. They couldn't keep their hands off each other when they were together and when they were apart, they thought of being together.

The sex happened when her father went to the store on that dreadful day. Juwon had called to check on her and she'd told him her father was out of the house. He'd suggested visiting for few minutes and she'd agreed. Her problem started when he had asked to see her bedroom. He teased her a little about how girly it was and she'd laughed at the jokes. When she sat on the bed, he'd sat beside her and they'd waited in silence and stared at each other.

Gini had made the first move. The chemistry between them was driving her crazy and she'd wanted to quench the fire building up in her. Juwon had protested a bit but she'd reassured him that her father wasn't going to get home until later. They'd had sex for the first time and she felt alive. They did everything wrongly but had still found pleasure in their shared experience.

Gini sighed as she recalled the biggest mistake of her entire life. They'd been so in the moment that neither suggested using a condom. When she'd found out about the pregnancy, her sister had been livid. Rightfully so, she admitted. She herself had been ashamed. There she was pregnant at fifteen with not just one but three babies.

She hated going for antenatal because conversations stopped whenever she arrived. Everyone knew she had sex at such young age and she paid dearly for her ignorance. Her schooling had been abandoned as she had to care for three boys with large appetites and loud cries. Mama had sacrificed almost all her tips and pay for the boys feeding. They had to constantly move also because of the fear that their father would find them.

When the boys started talking, she tried to enroll in a dance school. Unfortunately, her body had gone through a major experience and she had baby weight that got her rejected on sight. Gini took few years to work on getting her body back in shape while also working as a cleaning lady at a restaurant. When she reapplied to the dance school, she was accepted but couldn't afford the fees. Her boys had started attending a school beside their house and she used most of her earnings for their school fees. It took her three to four months to pay their fees and adding hers to the budget just wasn't feasible.

Mama was doing her best to help but they still couldn't afford much. They'd moved again and she'd gotten a job at the grocery store with Mr. Alfred. The pay was more than her last job but it still didn't go a long way. She got groceries that were close to expiring at the store for cheaper prices and that gave them more food options. Gini became very innovative with what was available and the boys grew stronger. Her sons made her happy which reassured her that the world wasn't so terrible.

She'd named them what the nurses in the hospital they were delivered in called them when they first came out. It was the commonest name given to triplets from a certain tribe in Nigeria but she hadn't mind. She'd told the boys as they grew that they could change their names later if they wanted. The boys used Juwon's surname and she'd listed his name as the father on their birth certificates.

As she thought about Juwon, she wondered if he ever left town like her. She hadn't had much time to mingle with the locals so she didn't know the latest gossips yet. She was going to ask someone, maybe she'd find her old classmates that were still in the area. Her phone beeped as she was getting lost in thought and she reached for the device in her pocket. Her sister was the one calling.

"Hey, Mama," she answered.

"Is he truly dead?"

"Yes. It wasn't a trap or set up as you thought."

"Good. Have you been to the house?"

"Not yet. I'm still at the graveyard."

"Are you crying for him?"

"Mama, he was our dad. He did some fucked up shit but he's still our father."

"Not anymore clearly."

"Show a little remorse."

"Like the one he showed you or me or mom? We have a sibling we don't know somewhere out there because mom took her and abandoned us. Wanna guess why she ran?"

Gini didn't like to think about the baby her mom took with her. She'd blocked that part out of her mind and didn't like it being brought up. "He's dead now, let's forget that."

"The boys want to talk to you. I'll give the phone to Taye."

Gini smiled as her first son, Taye spoke, "Gini, are you fine?"

"I am, sweetie. How are you and your brothers?" Her sons called her by her name like they heard from her sister and they called her sister Mama like she did. It was confusing to outsiders but the boys knew she was their mother.

"We're fine. Kenny and Idowu want to speak with you also."

Gini heard the phone change hands then heard Mama admonishing the boys. "What's happening there?"

"Kenny snatched the phone from my hand," she heard Taye say in the background.

"Gini, don't mind him," Kenny's voice came on.

"I wasn't done with Taye."

"But I wanted to hear your voice too."

"I was going to get to you eventually." Her second son was so impatient and that annoyed his other brothers.

"Should I give him back?"

"There's no need. How was school today, angel?"

"Fine. Gini, I got nine and half in my fine art but the teacher didn't know Taye drew it." Kenny laughed at out smarting his teacher and she shook her head.

"We'll talk about that later. Where's Idowu?" she asked after her third son.

"He's eating."

"Can you give him the phone?"

Idowu came on, "We miss you, Gini."

"I miss you too."

"I want to cook dinner but Taye and Kenny said they won't wash the plates."

"I'll tell them to." Idowu was always with her in the kitchen so he knew more about food than the other boys and her sister combined.

"Should I use the canned beef? It's remaining one."

"Use it. I'll get more when I get back."

"Gini," he started whispering. "Taye broke another leg of the table in the living room."

Gini closed her eyes and tried not to think of how much would go into fixing the table. "How? I told you boys not to go near it."

"Kenny was pursuing him around the house and he fell on it."

"I'll tell Mama to get it fixed. Thanks for telling me."

"I love you. Be good for us."

Gini wiped tears from her eyes as she said it back. Her sons always made her emotional. They treated her like they were her protector instead of the other way around.

"Give the phone to Taye."

"Gini, I know Idowu told you about the table," Taye said as soon as he got the phone.

"It's okay." She didn't want to be too strict on them while she was away. "I love you."

"Love you too. Kenny wants to speak with you."

"When are you coming back, Gini?" Kenny asked impatiently.

"Soon."

"Can we watch TV while you're gone?"

"Yes, but you have to do your homework first."

"Absolutely. I love you."

"Love you too, honey bunch. Give the phone to your aunt."

"Sweetie?" Mama's voice came on.

"Thanks."

"It's fine. I took a little break from work to look after the boys."

"Did you need to?" Gini felt supported that her sister put her kids first but sometimes it weighed heavily on her conscience.

"I just want them safe."

"I don't want you missing out on some great tips."

"I'll find a way to make money while they're in school."

"Just be careful. I'll call you when I get to the house."

"Take care."

"You too."

Gini ended the call and walked home.