Someone's Forever

86.2 Behind the Maze

All of us wept, wept, she for me, he for me and I for both of them. We cried until we lost all the moisture of our eyes, all pain and despair we drain through our tears, from my blur vision I witness a weeping Mrs. Mahri—yah in a corner too. Despite the pain and sadness, I found a moment of joy and prayed to almighty with my sincere gratitude. Tiara slept—lost all her energy in my arms and then Mrs. Mahri—yah took her, I wasn't willing but I let her. Jerry doesn't speak, doesn't weep just sits and stare.

Maybe he makes sure that I'm alive, maybe he makes sure nothing bad reaches me to harm me, or maybe he stays because he is afraid, he is afraid to leave me and come back with another bad news.

My heart shudders when I recall a never fading page of my past, where I left someone alone and came back to receive a bad news, a bad news of loosing that person forever, I regret that day, each moment of it, and despise my existence for the lose.

I bite down a sob. Licking my lips, I look back at my brother who sits the same, un-moving and a sigh escape me.

I can't handle this anymore.

He hasn't left since, I know of his presence. I woke up in Gideon's presence, his gaze had me in his custody from our silent whispers to his fragile caress showers, I found a new change in him, or it was just me. The thing I was most elated was Gideon's face regained color; his aura seems same, unlike last night when he seems on losing end. And it all proved when his anger returned. And a drastic change witnessed, when he almost went livid.

I sat in blunt oblivion until he brought me to another hall, wide and classy, where all the known faces of my acquaintance were present, bowing down their head. Through his anger and people's apology, I survived. What shattered me was my brother's broken stance.

Once he came, he hasn't left, in Gideon's presence he was at distance, all were, perhaps no one wanted to face a seething Alpha around me, yet they stayed—at distance. And once he left—after seething and growling, leaving unwillingly, Jerry stayed my side, at distance yet close.

"For how long you're going to be my side Jerry? It wasn't in our hand, we had no idea, it happened and it passed."

Silence greets me, and I steal a glance where he let out a resigned sigh, my brother looks aged in one day.

"I was saved, it was my destiny, and if any day it'll be my end, I'll have to accept it, our lives are measured. Not a breath more or less, you can enjoy. Death comes when it's planned. You—or no one—in fact not I, can protect me every time."

I know I'm hurting him, wounding his already wounded heart but Jerry needs to come out of his self guilt and despair. He blames himself for every bad occurrence happens around him. At first, I couldn't catch it but with time and our bond, I can understand why. Despite the long time after Sahira, he still blames himself, he despises himself for being late and now this incident at his home as shaken him, and freshened those ever green yet fading wounds. He is blaming self and has started self loathing.

"I should have—"

"Gideon could have been late, then. Or she has attacked me in your presence or worse if it wasn't about Lamia but an accident, or natural death then what?" I mumble, cursing myself for being rude.

The words jostle Jerry and I strangle myself for being a jerk yet I find it necessary.

"You know, I have been hating myself because of the same reason, I failed to be on time, like you lost Sahira, I lost that person to. I can understand, but then I also know the one departed, loved us and they never wanted us to be in pain and self hate because of them. It hurt them too to see us in pain. I can't preach to forget the incident or remove the emotions relating to it, hate for self is one of them, but Jerry you can reduce, and lessen the burden from their shoulder of making you upset in their name—their memory. Can you at least try?"