Does Love Sink or Swim? ( Ben Drowned X Suicidal Reader!)

XXXI

     This is me. This is the new me, at least. I smirked. 

    I vaporized right in the middle of the upstairs corridor. Little by little, I was discovering new things about my powers. I licked my lips, I loved this new confidence that flowed inside of me. I felt invincible. My footsteps let out loud echos as my boots collided with the wooden floor. The smirk still lingered on my face as pastas leaned their heads out of their bedroom doors, taking in glimpses of me. Oh, I loved this power. 

   I sent a wink flying towards a certain blonde elf's direction as I made my way past him. I watched as he opened his mouth about to speak. But before his consciousness could form words, I disappeared, right in front of him. My body moved like a ghost, all in a synchronized flow. I appeared inside my room, entering my bathroom. I ripped off the maroon cardigan and brought my arms up, leaning against the sink. My firey eyes bore at the soft, vulnerable flesh of my arms. I licked my lips as my gaze shifted to those cursed cuts. 

  My eyes shot up, looking at myself in the mirror. Slowly, my gaze averted to the emerald necklace hanging around my neck. It glowed a soft green as it started to grow hot. I stood there, lifeless letting the necklace burn me red, branding me. I heard soft, hushed whispers filter the air. It sounded like someone was talking. The hushed whispers sounded calm, alluring to me. The mumbled voices started to sound more clear and sturdy. "(Y/N), what have you done?" 

   I felt a breeze brush up against my neck. I quickly turned around, my palms pressed against the edge of the sink. There, right before my eyes, was Sarah. I was relieved, excited, happy to be back in her presence. But she did not seem to return the affection. Her face held a stern scowl, her eyes were narrow as her brow bone drooped low, her tiny nose was layered with creases from being scrunched, her lips pursed and pressed off to the side. Sarah stood with her left hip cocked outwards, her arms wrapped across her chest, as her shoulders stood bold. "Sarah...", I breathed out. 

    "I gave you my eye to literally keep an eye on you, to help you suppress your powers. But as soon as I leave. What do you do? You threw an episode!", Sarah exclaimed, her position shifting so now her arms were thrown into the air. "An episode?..", I questioned aloud. 

   "Yes, an episode. You blew out every single light bulb in this how many-roomed mansion? Then! You strutted right on out of the scene like you ruled the world.", Sarah pressed her face onto the palm of her hand. "Sarah, I don't understand what's going on. One minute I feel so weak and tired and then the next I feel like I can take over the world!", I sighed rubbing my wrists gently. I watched as Sarah's eyes followed down my arms. "Ah... I see.". 

   "You're transitioning.", Sarah nodded her head, her features returned back to serene. "Transitioning?... Sarah, again with these words. I don't understand what you're saying.", I retorted, sitting myself up on the edge of the sink. "So, (Y/N), let's start off with episode. Having an episode to you means like a tantrum, correct?", she inquired. I nodded my head. "Well, a witch having an episode is the feeling of all of their power coursing within them. It is an overwhelming feeling of power, where they subconsciously need to release it. Your whole mood changes as your body struggle to release the power. You see, the power of a witch is meant for a host suitable for destruction, like a demon. The power of witches is harnessed inside the host of a human. The human body cannot indulge with that much power, so it naturally releases.", Sarah stated, waving her hands a few times. 

   "Sooo, it's like hormones?", I asked. "Yes, exactly.", Sarah nodded. "In other words, I'm going through witch puberty?", I raised an eyebrow. "Well, that's one way to say it. But, I say that transitioning is more like witch puberty. Transitioning is a new witch who's body is adjusting to the new source of power.", Sarah added on. "Who the hell even thought about giving humans this amount of power?", I asked allowed, my eyes staring into Sarah's. Sarah just stared at me emptily. "I mean, if a human host isn't strong enough, why not let I don't know.. a demon posses the power?", I added shrugging my shoulders. I'm just tired of this burden. I stared down at my hands confused about the power I posses. 

   "Well... a witch doesn't fully adapt or discover their self until after death...", Sarah trailed off in a hushed tone. I raised an eyebrow, "Until after death? Well you're dead. So, here, take back all of this power. I don't want it." I placed my arms out in front of her. "(Y/N)...", Sarah sighed. "That's not how it works-", "Of course its not how it works. Its never how it works! Literally this is all some cliche crummy supernatural paradox show!", I exclaimed tiredly. "I just can't anymore. I couldn't after my dad died, I couldn't after I found out I'm on Buddy the elf's kill list, I couldn't after I found out who I was-", Sarah cut me off, "Its going to be okay, (Y/N), breath. This is all alarming, I know." 

    "No you don't know. Its not going to be okay. I'm not okay! I've never been okay? Look at me! I am a mess! I cut myself constantly because I'm too much of a coward to end it! I can't even think straight. My whole world is a warped mess. I am now currently living with killers, killers, Sarah. You know the whole demonic stabby stabby, and you're over here, my dead ancestor, telling me that its all going to be magically okay. No pun intended but its not. I am so mentally unstable that its not even possible. I am so fucked up in the head that all of this is starting to seem normal. I can't take this anymore. My head feels like its going to explode.", I croaked out, tears spilling out of my eyes as my hands grabbed fistfuls of hair. My head started to shake. 

   Sarah reached out to me, I rejected her affection and shrugged my shoulders. "I never asked for any of this..", I whispered. "And you think any of us did?", Sarah questioned crossing her arms over her chest. "(Y/N), believe it or not you are a witch. You posses the power and you will learn how to harness it. This is ridiculous, you make the perfect witch. If it weren't your damn emotions that got in the way. Grow up.", Sarah added. "You're suppose to be the one looking after me, right? Now do something about my pain and my emotions.", I snapped. "Your pain? Honey, you've never even experienced real pain. You have no right to complain.", Sarah scoffed. My head shot up at her in shock, "Well then, you've never been trapped inside your own head." "My head has never been contaminated with a disease.", Sarah growled. "And your the one who died and left me your power.", I smirked. 

    "A power you don't know how to use.", Sarah nodded her hands cupped as she whispered some inaudible spell. A brown leather book appeared in her hands. "And with your schizophrenia, you do not deserve to posses the secrets of this book.", Sarah hugged the book tightly. "Not until you get your emotions in check, which is what me and you will start training today with."