Does Love Sink or Swim? ( Ben Drowned X Suicidal Reader!)

III

      I jammed my silver key into the slot beneath the door knob. Turning the key to the right, I heard a click, signaling that I had successfully unlocked the door. I turned the key back to its first position and returned the key back to my jean pocket. I placed my hand on the door and turned it. Opening my door, I stepped inside. Lazily throwing my heavy book bag over, flowing with homework and studying materials, on the couch. I kicked the door closed with the back of my ankle. A clasping sound resounded from it. I sighed aloud, relaxing my shoulders. Tensely bringing them forward and then back. My stomach made an impression on a whales mating call. Looking down at my hunger crazed stomach, I poked it with my index finger. "Time for grub", i chuckled. My stomach having responded with a low growl.

      I searched through my cabinets, looking for the most heavenly of foods. I grinned, pulling out a styrofoam cup of chicken flavored ramen noodles. I held the treasure in both of my hands and triumphantly brought the most holiest of foods up in the air. "DUAN DUAN DUAN DUAN!!!~".

         Whistling the Shawn Mendes Mercy, while I awaited for my delicious food to be done. I taped my red painted finger nails against the marble countertops. I was contemplating on whether I should do my homework this weekend or "forget" to hand it in. My perfectly good side was fighting with my rebellious one over my shoulders. Before the battle could turn bloody, a savior approached and whipped me clean of my doubts. A joyous beeping sound practically screaming," Come get your precious heaven!". I grabbed the cup out of the microwave, dipping my fork in the cup of noodles. I brought a forkful of delectable golden, steamy, chicken noodles into my mouth. Humming out my satisfaction.

          I entered my living room, trudging towards a large tan couch. Flipping myself over the exterior, landing face first onto my book bag. I wrapped my arms around my bag and rolled off the couch. An OOF! Escaped my lips from landing on the harsh but yet soft carpeted floor. Lifting my legs up and skating them a little, causing little cracks from stress to pop. I heard the door knob shimmy open. My head shot up, taking my bag. I bolted for the stairs. "HI MOM, LOVE YOU MOM! SEE YOU AT DINNER",  I screeched, running up the stars.

          Slamming of a door echoed throughout the house. As I belly flopped on my bed. It's not like I don't like my mom or anything... It's just that Friday's at work is more stressful than others. Which leads my mom to stop at a close bar for a couple rounds. That never ends up pretty. My mother was never really a big drinker. Well... Not until my father's passing three years ago...

      I was a freshman in high school. Eight period was always the slowest. Mathematics class, a drag as usual. I watched the clock that was plastered on the wall in front of the classroom. Counting for the minutes to go by. When a sudden announcement was made on the loud speaker. I was being called to the main office for an early dismissal. Groans of jealous irritation eroded from my fellow students.

       I'm now in the passenger seat next to my mother. She's speeding off towards the hospital... A worried look is spread across her features. Her eyes are blood shot, tear stained even, her hair is oily and tousled, lips chapped and bleeding, and her work clothes are wrinkled and misshaped. My eyes shift downwards at her hands, dry and shaking. I see her chest rising and falling rapidly.

    We pull up at the emergency entrance. My mom exits the car and doesn't even wait for me to get out. As she's rushing down the hospitals corridor. I take in my mothers state again, she looks broken, shattered. We turned down another hallways and rear a hospital room, partially open. A woman's screaming fills the empty corridor.

    My mother leans her head against the wall, slightly banging it. Tears start to flow from her eyes. "W-Why me?... What have I done wrong?...", My mother chokes out. I ponder on what she means. Then I hesitantly walk into the room. There an unfamiliar woman is. Legs spread and screaming in agony, doctors surround her so I couldn't get a glimpse of her 'you know what'. But what shatters my heart is my father holding that woman's hand, shushing her. Calling her love, and baby girl. I felt my heart stop, my father cheated on my mother... I turned to exit the room when I hear a little boys voice out in the halls. "Auntie, is Mommy going to be okay?... Daddy said that my little brother is being born.."

     There a little boy, who resembles my father exactly. Face from face... My father not only cheated and broke my mother, but abandoned me... His own daughter.... His own flesh and blood.. HIS baby girl... HIS first born... His princess... He own DAUGHTER. He abandoned me and my mother, for another woman... For another family...

      My eyes began to blur with tears, as they slowly one by one escaped my eyes and casted down my cheeks. I staggered up to my mom and embraced her. "He left us..." I sniffed. "For.. For another f-family..", I sobbed. My moms arms greeted me in the embrace and squeezed me. "I know, I know hunny bun"...

      Later on that night when my mother and I sat at the dinner table eating. My father came home 'late from work'. "Sorry I'm late, my boss wanted me to work over time". My mom slowly nodded in acknowledgment. While I dropped my fork from my mouth. Letting it crash onto the white glass plate. "What's wrong baby girl?...", my dad looked at me. When all he got was silence, he spoke again this time addressing my mother,"Love, what's going on...?" I choked, my mother laughed," Don't call us that, when you have another family you belong to and pour your petty bull shit puppy love on them". Everything went silent, it was like time itself had frozen in place.

     "I still love you, one affair, she got pregnant, I had to be there." My father explained. "Fucked up alibi, huh dad?", I snapped. "Say that to your two year old bastard child who looks EXACTLY like YOU!", I yelled, slamming my fists on the table. My mom gasped and scolded me,"Watch your tongue (Y/N)!". I rolled my eyes," Thanks for abandoning us... (F/N)". My dads eyes widen. I was about to speak again until," (FULL/NAME), go to your room!", my mother attempted to yell, to busy chocking back her sobs of heart break.

      Next week my parents filed a divorce. It tore them both apart. My mom a crying mess and my dad heart broken. Should have thought about keeping that thing in your pants....

      It's been two months, my dad keeps trying to get back with my mom and fix the relationship he had with me. But I keep telling him that it was his choice to abandon his own wife and child.

     The third month was horrid.... Worse than I could imagine.... My mom was crying on the kitchen table. Sobbing heavily with the house phone in her hand. She told me to sit down. "Y-Your father had committed suicide last night, he over dosed and left us a note. He still loves you (Y/N), he always did, he would never abandon his princess...".

     I remember everything like it was yesterday.... That event left my mother broken... Shattered to pieces, that I have to clean up on my way to adulthood....