Beautiful Boy ➶ l.s

15- Scars

I'm scared, Lou. I don't know what to do. I have been with you everyday ever since I've passed away. And sometimes, I smile when you say that you still feel my attendance around you; because I'm still here, Lou. I'll never leave you.

"Harry, darling, do me a favor?" The angel turned to me, with lifeless eyes yet a soft smile tucked on his lips.

I know that you've been seeing someone because of the depression, Valerie. She's a really good person in this situation, you should trust her. I'm happy to know that you still believe me, even though the police told me wrong. I love how you know me so well, and you know I'd never do such a thing. I love how you trust me like you've never trusted anyone else, Lou. But things do change.

"Yeah?" I asked the angel, my voice laced with worry and fear, standing just a meter away from the angel and the demon hovered above him.

You need to trust me on this, love. You need to know its time to give up. It's time for me to see that genuine smile of yours. And to hear the melodic laugh of yours. And to listen to your beautiful, happy voice talking. You need to trust me when I say, I need you to let me go. Cause Lou, although I'll always be here, I'm not exactly there, you need someone else to make you happy, you need to be someone else's sunshine. I love you, muffin.

"Wake up"

-

It feels like the old days; even though you don't remember me going to bed with you yesterday night, because to you I'm gone, but I did. And I stayed staring at you all night, till the sun peaked through the curtains to lighten the dark room. You looked so peaceful and calm. With your eyes closed, nose scrunched a bit, breathing lightly through your rosy, kissable lips.

You're the most beautiful human being I've ever met. I've told you so many times but you never seemed to believe me. But you are, Lou. I sang Give Me Love for you yesterday, it was our lullaby, remember? Thought it'd make you sleep comfortably, even though you don't know I'm there. But I was wrong, cause once your mom kissed your head goodnight and left the room, you let it all out.

"Harry, where are you now?" You cried, and my heart clenched, the pain swelled through me as I regretfully wiped your tears away, by my skin never made contact with yours for an unknown reason.

"I'm here, love.." I answered you, caressing your cheek, and although I could feel something against my hand, I knew you felt nothing.

"Please come back soon" You sobbed loudly, and I felt knifes go through me, making me bloody scream in pain.

"I'm back, Lou. Please stop crying. You're too beautiful to cry.." I admitted to you, but knowing you, even though I was there, you wouldn't believe me. I sighed in frustration, still caressing your untouched cheek, trying to calm you down.

"I miss you, Harry.." You said, and oh if you only knew how much I missed you too. I miss you so much it hurts. It's hurts the most. Not even dying is close to the pain I'm going through knowing your broken at sight.

"I miss you too, lovely.." I whispered, noticing the tears falling down my pale cheeks. When will this pain stop? When will it end? Why did I have to go outside that night? Why?

"Goodnight Haz.." He trailed off, cuddling his tear-stained pillow as he sniffled a bit, wiping his tears away before shutting his eyes, trying to sleep.

"Goodnight Lou, I love you..." I trailed off, stroking his hair, as I felt him shift uncomfortably.

"I love you too Hazza.." He replied unconsciously, and I felt myself smile. This is just the begging; I promise myself that I'll make him better. I'll make him get over me.

Because now you're not mine, and it's killing me, sunshine.

-

6.9.14

Dear Harry,

People usually say, that love is so strong that not even love itself can break it. Is it really true? Because I feel like your love for me is fading away; please make it stop? All I'm feeling is the urge to cry or cut, and none of that helps. Why can't I get over you, Haz? Am I that in love?

To say this is confusing, is such a none sense bullocks. Because it isn't, Harry. I know you haven't killed anyone, I'm positive. You'd never do such a thing, I believe you Harry.

Is it crazy, to say that I can hear your beautiful voice sometimes? Is it crazy, that I feel like your alive? Is it crazy, that you might be here? Beside me, hugging me tight, and promising everything'd be okay?

I can hear you, darling, but that's not so much. My heart still aches for your heart-warming smile and contagious laugh. I'm still trapped, so deep inside. You're the only one capable, of bringing my soul back.

Promise we'll reunite, that this isn't over yet. You always said you'd love me, and that nothing'll ever change. So please keep you word, because I'll love you nevertheless.

Make sure to mark your heart, and swear that you'll always be mine. Because, darling, you own my heart, so please be a good keeper of it.

Kisses and hugs,

Lou x.

***

you know, it sucks, being clean for so many months, then relapse 😪 life is a bitch sometimes, trust me.

cutting helps me relax in the doing; but after, it just burns and all I want to do is scratch them ):

hope uh guys liked this surprise? harry's p.o.v for the second time ever since chapter one! and i know some y'all are confused; but you'll understand in future chapters.

Until next time,

Dana x