𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝟐. carl grimes

28 - TRIED

trigger warning!

—~—

I was sitting on porch of my mom and I's house, or what used to be our house. It's quiet in here. After the commotion that happened yesterday, I avoided everyone, even Carl, and locked myself up in our house. Carl though, he climbed my window last night and I pretended to be asleep when he did that, he slept beside me and it gave me comfort, but I just had no energy to talk about what went down yesterday.

My mom left again. This time, it was her choice. No one made her leave, no one banished her. I'm pretty sure Rick didn't even wanted her to leave at all, but she did. The thought that's eating me alive is that will we even see each other again? Where is she right now? Is she okay, is she hurt?

I'm drowning in my own thoughts and if it weren't for Glenn shaking me, I would've drowned in my thoughts already.

"I heard what you did yesterday." Glenn spoke slowly, worry in his eyes. I looked away from him. "We're going to find your mom, okay? We are, we will."

I don't speak, I don't talk. I've lost her for the third time now, twice was more than enough but for the third time? I'm internally freaking out. My mom's the only blood-family I have left, the one who's been with me all my life, now she left me. Again.

"Hey, talk to me." Glenn said, placing his hand back on my shoulder. "You never talk to me anymore like you used to back at the farm."

Glenn and I were so close back then, but now we sort of drifted apart. But nobody's to blame, we both got too busy with our own lives. Me growing up and him worrying about their baby.

"Every time she leaves... it feels like she's really gone." I said quietly, still looking ahead. "This is the third time she's left, the third time I felt like I've lost my mom for good. I-I can't go on without knowing if she's still alive or not."

I know my mom's strong and she's a fighter, but what if she got trapped in a herd just like Glenn and Nicholas did? What if she's not lucky like Glenn and end up meeting her death? What if the Saviors or Negan himself, find her? What will they do to her then? What are the worst possible things that my mom could be going through right now?

"I've lost her twice before," I told Glenn, now looking at him. "And I never got to say goodbye. Now she's left again, and I didn't get to say goodbye. I didn't even got to say how much I love her."

"I'm sure she knows that." Glenn tells me softly. "And you don't get to say goodbye... because it isn't the end. Carol will find you like she always does."

I breathe in heavily and let out a heavy sigh. "I don't even know what's better... my mom leaving and us not knowing if she's still alive, or her being dead and us knowing—"

"Don't say that." Glenn said, me blinking the tears away. "Your mom is alive. I know that, and I know you know that... Sometimes, people leave not just because it's their choice, because of what's bound to happen. Who knows? Your mom could find us again and save us, that could happen again."

There's possibilities that could happen but I don't know what to believe. I sighed, deciding to change the subject. "I missed talking to you, Chinese Pizza Guy."

Glenn lets out a low chuckle. "It's Korean Pizza Guy."

Then, Glenn pulls me in for a hug, which I accept. "Carl's worried for you. You gotta talk to him."

"Yeah, I will."

After that little heart-to-heart with Glenn, I went to Carl's house and met Rick along the way. He gives me sympathy about my mom and told me that Morgan's still out there trying to find her, and reassuring me that he will find her. I nodded and thanked Rick, before going upstairs.