Our Painful Love [Jaeyong]

i remember

Jaehyun suddenly tensed.

"How'd you have one of those?"

Taeyong glanced up when he noticed how low and stern Jaehyun's voice turned to be. He straightened his back before answering, "My mom gave one to me when I turned 7.", he was still kind of bothered with how Jaehyun's face darkened.

"Do you...perhaps know what those are for?", Jaehyun asked, his voice dangerously low and Taeyong shivered in fear.

Never have he felt as if he was this scared—there was something just unbelievably scary about Jaehyun being mad and it wans't something he was looking forward to seeing anytime sooner.

"N-no...are they something important?", he cautiously asked.

Jaehyun squinted his eyes and stared into Taeyong's eyes to see if the man was lying but he actually wasn't—it didn't mean that he'll drop his ground that easily. Even though Taeyong looked harmless, he was still extremely cautious with first, the fact Taeyong owner an Acrid portal on his own without being an Aerid and second, the fact that the 'mate' he kept sensing that he felt that kept on switching on and off was something he could use—

As a Shifter.

—————

Taeyong was scared.

Who wouldn't when you were finally opening up to someone and find them angry at you? For some strange reason? At that moment he saw Jaehyun's dark expression, he closed everything off. He tried fixing the wall he was trying to break to open up but happened to just put it all back in it's place because of what just happened.

Maybe he was right.

Maybe it really was wrong to trust Jaehyun that easily. Yeah.

Yeah, that's right.

He was first of all a Nocturne—a man who had the blood of murderers. Besides, Nocturnes were selfish, and greedy when it comes to power—they can never be trusted and can only be dangerous and deadly. Jaehyun was one of them.

He can't be someone who can open up and be gentle and sweet. He was just someone who tried being nice because, because....because he was friends with Yuta—a close friend of his.

What happened hours ago was nothing, it was just hospitality and Nocturnes hates cowards and people who hide—like him.

The cube issue awhile ago just proved it—he was someone who was cautious and someone who had bad blood, maybe he was only trying to block of something that was a threat—

Like me, Taeyong thought.

He quietly growled.

"Get out of my head.", he grumbled, his anger seeping in as he pushed his door open and shut it loudly behind him, not caring if anyone was awakened by the loud sound.

He dropped his body over the soft mattresses and shut his eyes tightly, his breathing quickened while his heart ached.

He knew he was hurting.

It's been like it for his whole life. He can't really remember when he actually smiled, away from the happiness he felt when he was with Jaehyun at the dragons' home. He actually forgot what it felt to smile and how nice it was to have his chest breathing air easily.

He really liked Jaehyun—he was actually a nice friend.

(N/A: Sorry, my dudes. I know it feels like a slap on the face but I promise, it'll get better. It's just to emphasize how much their relationship will grow as time comes :) )

He loved how Jaehyun was actually someone he was ready to open up with—at such a short time. But it seemed like things really were wrong, just like how everything was, aside from his brother and his friends.

He shut his eyes tighter when he felt his lips trembling and his fingers numbing. His heart ached, blocking out the noise from anywhere and it only rang straight into his ears, the fresh salty tears falling onto the soft pillow he clutched tightly.

He hid his face some more, curling his feet closer to his chest, and tried to calm his breathing to stop the cries from coming out of his shaking lips.

He felt cold.

He needed someone to comfort him, he's been needing someone, just someone who would just hold him and shush him to sleep, even if it wasn't someone who'd listen, just someone to be there while he cried.

But it's something that's just too hard to ask, isn't it?

"It's okay.....you're okay....", he croaked in a broken whisper.

It's always been this way.

He only had himself to calm himself and hug himself from the coldness and stop the pain he was feeling. He always felt that it was stupid to think it was something worthy when he had a sibling to protect. But being lonely in this big castle just made it harder and think to himself with what was actually going on.

Back in the cabin, he was always busy—he figured he can't stop the pain and just forget his painful past, so he kept his mind filled with work so it just stayed in the tiny corner at the back of his mind. But doing nothing in the large house he was in was like a reality check for his already broken form.

"You're okay...it's okay...", he shushed.

He opened his eyes and all that happened was just more tears falling out of his swelling eyes.

Muttering a name he was sure he needed, but he just can't reach out to—

"J-Jaehyun...."