What Now

Too Much

Yasmine

Today I have Anthony doing my nails for me. He paints it better than I do. I scroll through my phone as he lotions my legs and feet. I relax from his touch enjoying our closeness.

Ever since I spilled the beans about me getting back into dating, he's been more quiet than usual.

"Anthony are you nervous about me dating again?" I ask while he wipes the lotion off his hands to avoid them from being slippery.  

"Yes." He opens the bottle of nail polish and starts painting my big toe. "I don't want you getting hurt."

"I know Ant, but I have needs that need to be fulfilled."

Anthony eyes gets big a little and he accidentally knocks the bottle of nail polish down. He quickly picks it up before anything can fall out.

He clears his throat.

"What type of needs?" He asks, going back to painting.

"I need a man who I can trust whole heartily and share my body with. Someone I can go to for distressing. I also need some amazing ass body massages. Basically my heart, body, and vagina needs some loving Ant."

I can feel him stiffen from my bluntness.

"I see," he says in a low tone making eye contact with me.

I stare back into his eyes, realizing I could have made him uncomfortable with that I just said.

"Sorry if what I said was too much...me um talking about my female needs."

I don't know what the hell I was thinking sharing something so intimate with him. Even though Anthony and I are close, I still keep some type of boundaries between us. Meaning I don't ask the "Do my boobs look ok in this outfit?" questions, or discuss my female needs or body issues with him. I also made damn sure he didn't see certain things about my body. There's a lot Anthony doesn't know.

Anthony breaks eye contact to focus back on what he's doing. Grateful for the refocusing, I diligently sigh out through my nose. I really want to face palm myself, but right now is not the time.