Love Sucks

Love Sucks - 30

As if on cue, Alex said, "What are you thinking, princess?" And then he brushed a lock of my blonde hair away from my cheek, tucking it behind my ear. I shrugged in response, pressing my cheek against his chest for a little while longer.

"Maybe we should go," He suggested. "It's getting cold, I'm sure."

I nodded in agreement, and then I got up from the floor of the gently-spinning roundabout, where I had been settled so comfily with Alex. He followed my lead, taking my hand and tugging me away. We walked along the shore for a little while, the cold waves pushing against my trainers and his black shoes, dampening the hem of our trousers. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alex run a hand through his scruffy dark hair, and then he began to swing our hands back and forth. When I glanced over at him, he was smiling a soft, sweet smile, but I noticed the tinge of red to his eyes again, complete with a thirsty gleam that I'd seen only too many times. I could almost smell the burning of his throat.

It was right there and then, holding the red-tainted eyes I knew was hiding the blood-thirsty vampire behind their gaze, seeing the uneven rise and fall of Alex's chest, that I wondered if someday I would be like that. If someday, I was going to be staring at Alex, feeling the burning in my throat, feeling the desire to sink my fangs into the pulsating vein in his neck, smelling the sweetness of his blood. I wondered if someday I would be equal to Alex; either human or vampire, feeling the exact same desires as he was.

"I can feed tonight, it isn't a problem," He assured me lightly, as if talking about possibly taking another's life was so casual. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let myself be alone with you when I am so close to snapping. That's not right, nor fair."

"It's fine, it's who you are." I said. I shocked even myself at the sound of my soft voice; a tinge of throatiness peaking beneath it. "You shouldn't feel the need to explain yourself to me, Alex. I know."

Alongside the thirst he couldn't mask in his eyes, he managed to flash me a look of gratitude. We walked away from the sea line, headed back to the car. Once inside, he turned the heating all the way up, started the engine, and we were gone. Once more, the town's lights flickered past me before I could even catch a glimpse of them, and blurs of green replaced them. Alex was fidgeting a lot; playing with the heating, changing radio stations, tapping the wheel, adjusting his seat and/or running his hand through his hair. I couldn't help but mimic his anxiety, trying to avoid his eyes. I had to admit, I felt bad that I wasn't helping, even though I knew how to.

It had been months since Alex had bitten me, and it had never been willingly.

"Don't even think about doing what I know you're about to do," He said, his voice tinted with the essence of a growl. Startled, I dug my hands straight into the pockets of his leather jacket, and avoided his eyes.

"Can vampires read minds?" I asked, remembering how so long ago Ashton had said what I had been thinking the night before, about how Alex was the guy I'd dreamt of, but also the guy I hated. And again when Alex had first come home from his hunting trip after our almost-kiss, bruised and covered in dirt and cuts - he said he was broken and tainted, which was what I had thought a week prior. At the back of my mind, I was praying, hoping they couldn't read my mind.

"No," He said, flashing me a grin, which I saw in the reflection on my mirror. "I can, however, gain access to your mind whenever I please, just like you can me. The difference between us is I can control when I do so, but you can't, which is why you had vivid dreams for a while."

"But you're not the only one who has seemingly read my mind," I objected. "Ashton repeated something I'd been thinking the night before. Something I would never have told anyone, not ever."