Tear In My Heart ✔️

XXIX. Tumbles and Truths (edited)

"Madison, you don't have to minimize your feelings. I understand. My parents are gone too and those thoughts cross my mind all the time, but I know they'd want me to be happy and since you make me the happiest I've ever been, I know they'd be on board one-hundred percent. I bet your mom would feel the same even if your dad doesn't."

"Maybe," he distantly said, causing my heart to drop. I kissed him again.

"Ti voglio bene (I love you)."

"Ti voglio bene ," he instantly repeated before I climbed off of him and extended my hand for him to take.

"Now, put on some pants and a shirt. We're going out."

His eyebrows furrowed. "Noah, it's almost eight. Shops are closing and–"

"Babe, don't worry. Where we're going is open twenty-four-seven." He gave me a confused look but took my hand nonetheless. "It's fine. Don't question it." He allowed me to lead him into the bedroom and he slid on some sweatpants over his boxers as well as one of my sweatshirts that he looked really hot in, while I simply threw on a shirt and one of Madison's pullovers.

"You ready?" I asked as I shoved my phone and Madison's house keys into the pocket of my pants.

"For what exactly?" He asked with a raised brow as I took his hand in mine.

I kissed the back of it. "To breathe." With that, I led him out of his apartment and out of his apartment building.

"Babe, the car's that way," Madison pointed out as we began walking away from the parking lot.

"I know," I said. "Just trust me, okay?"

There was a cool breeze outside and the sky was a beautiful dark water color. Street lights were turning on and cars were flying by on the streets with husbands or wives desperately going home to see their families or kids our age hurrying to their friends' house parties. Madison's hand felt warm and firm in my own and our steps were in perfect time with each other.

As we walked, I noticed aspects of the neighbourhood I hadn't before, especially how beautiful it was at night. After a while, we finally ended up in my desired destination: the park. To make things better, it was empty and the beautiful full moon's light perfectly illuminated the scenary as if it were trying to give us a path to follow.

"I just want to be with you," I softly said as I stopped and looked up at him. "No fancy dates and no crazy, hateful people. And definitely no shame. Just the two of us in a place outside of your apartment for once."

He smiled. "I think I like the sound of that."

I chuckled as I wrapped my arm around his waist before we started walking together once more, hip to hip. A comfortable silence fluttered between us as we enjoyed each other's company and the stretch of scenery that was around us. "You know our lives are going to change forever tomorrow, right?" Madison suddenly said, causing my eyebrows to furrow.

"Babe, don't think about that right now. We're supposed to be relaxing, remember?"

"I know, but it's just...scary. I've never been pulled over, let alone testified in court. And just the thought of testifying against my father and those boys for what they've done to us...I'm just afraid that when I see him, I'll see my father instead of the monster he really is and break down and I really don't want to give him the satisfaction or be the weak link that lets those bastards get away or–"

"Madison," I softly said, causing his words to die on his lips. "It's okay to be scared and emotional. Babe, you have to remember that you're not alone in this, okay? You have me and I have you. I know it'll be scary, but you just need to trust yourself, okay?"

He mutely nodded and rested his forehead on mine. "I don't know what I would do without you, Noah."

I gently ran my thumb over his cheek before I pressed a light kiss to his forehead before I gently tugged down the hood that was over his head. "Me either." The corners of his lips slightly turned up as he slid his hand back into mine and we started approaching a really cliche looking bridge that stretched over the river that cut through the middle of the park.

"You know I'm going to marry you, right?"

I smiled. "Yeah, you've mentioned it once or twice."

"I hope you know that I'm serious. Now that you've entered my life, I honestly can't see myself living without you. You calm me down and I make horribly inappropriate jokes. I know I've said this a lot but I've honestly never loved anyone as much as I love you and it's kinda scary." He stopped walking as we reached the top of the bridge. "Noah, I hope you know that there's nothing that I want more in life than to call you mine forever and grow old and have a family together. And I know I'm a lot sometimes and I'll work on it, but...I just really love you and I hope you don't get tired of me."

Though most people would consider such a deep declaration of love something along the lines of cringey, his words made my heart skip a beat. I grinned before I leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "Don't worry. I could never get tired of you. I'm not going anywhere," I softly promised, causing him to smile against my lips before he gripped the back of my neck and deepened the kiss. It felt like we were in a movie scene standing on a bridge as the moonlight cascaded over us as we showed each other exactly how much we loved one another through our kiss. However, the moment was cut short just as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Noah?" A familiar voice asked from behind us, causing me to pull away and turn around just to see Gracie. I froze as her hateful words about my disease filled my head.

"Gracie? What are you doing out here this late?"

"It's true, isn't it?" She softly asked, unbelief evident in her voice.

"Who is this?" Madison lowly asked as he moved so that he was standing a bit in front of me in a protective stance.

"A girl from my church," I lowly responded. "What's true?" I asked so that she could hear me.

"You're gay," she said, almost remorseful. "There's been talk around the church but I never thought..."

I swallowed. "Who's been talking?"

"It doesn't matter, babe. Let's go," Madison urged but my feet wouldn't move.

"It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you're not in God's image. You're not natural." She spat the last part as if it left a bitter taste in her mouth.

I felt anger flare up within me, but I held it down. "God wants us to be open-minded and accepting of each other so how can you claim to be a child of God, but speak hate all in the same breath?" She opened her mouth to say something but quickly closed it. "You don't have to agree with my lifestyle, but you don't have to hate us and tear us down, especially because who I love doesn't affect you in any way."

She sighed and massaged her temples. "I need time," was all she said before she turned and jogged away without another word.

A weird feeling filled my chest as I watched her run away, like a spark of hope being extinguished. I really thought that she'd be able to see past this part of me...

But who told?

My jaw clenched. Mr. Williams.

"Are you okay?" Madison softly asked and I nodded though it was a lie.

"I think I'm ready to go home now."