Batfamily Short Stories

The List

After a particularly bad bout of insomnia, and nightmares of assorted pain levels, Jason headed down to the cave and started running drills on the punching bag. Of course, Bruce overheard the sound of Jason's fists destroying the bag and headed to the cave.

Bruce sat at the bat-computer, giving Jason his own space and letting the boy get accustomed to his presence. Jason was like a wounded animal, and he often had to be treated like such. It irked Bruce that Damian had been the one to realize that fact several months ago.

Soon enough, Jason's punches slowed, his whole body shining with sweat that matted his hair and highlighted the many scars on his arms, neck and torso. Bruce didn't want to imagine how many scars there were that he hadn't even seen yet.

"Everything alright?" Bruce asked, keeping his voice calm and his eyes on the computer screen to avoid making Jason too uncomfortable.

Breathing heavily, Jason hit the bag a few more times before muttering through clenched teeth, "Fine."

Knowing better than to let the situation escalate, Bruce remained silent for several moments. The only sounds in the cave were the clacking of the bat-computer keyboard and Jason's fists hitting the punching bag. This went on for nearly another hour, and Bruce feared that he wasn't getting anywhere until Jason finally spoke again.

"It's a list."

Bruce cocked his head, forcing himself to keep his gaze on the keyboard, "What is?"

"It's what I see at night... when I'm not having nightmares or staring at the ceiling," Jason huffed, beginning to forcefully remove the black wraps from his hands.

"A list of what?" Bruce asked, keeping his voice as mellow.

It took Jason another moment to find a reply, but his voice shook, "Names. People I've..."

Jason cut himself off, but Bruce could fill in the blanks. People he had killed.

"Tell me," Bruce prompted gently, his voice just barely above a whisper.

Jason swallowed hard, tossing one hand wrap to the side and moving onto the second one, "Darren Wesley... Conner Farhan... Ellis Kieron... Leonard Roma..."

Leaning back in his chair, Bruce implanted each name in his memory as Jason said it. However, he made no move to stop his son's confession.

"Kyle Imran. Rick Douglas. Charles Bennett."

Jason's voice became rougher and further clipped the more names he spoke.

"Abel Green. Jeremiah Gonzalez. Tyler Moore."

The names continued on until Bruce counted over twenty-five. From there, the names became titles. Joker's henchman. The Russian mob boss. Scarecrow's henchman. The human trafficking ring leader from Spain.

The list continued until there were nearly fifty names before Jason slowed. Bruce had to force himself to keep his breathing even.

Jason scoffed as he harshly pulled on his shirt, which had been deposited on a nearby chair earlier, "Still think I can be the good guy?"

Bruce forced himself to draw a steadying breath, "You keep a list of all the people you've killed..."

He stopped for a moment, and Jason steeled himself for a harsh reprimand.

"But what about all the people you've saved?"

At that, Jason froze, the muscles in his jaw twitching as he thought over Bruce's words.

"I can think of a few." Bruce went on, turning his chair so that he was looking at Jason, who had his back towards him. "That little girl that was kidnapped last year. The man who was getting mugged last week. The clerk whose store was being robbed last night."

Jason barely looked over his shoulder, hardly daring to look Bruce in the eye. "And the people I've saved just cancel out the people I've killed? I know that's not how you work, B."

"No, it's not," Bruce sighed, leaning forwards so his elbows rested on his knees. "But I've learned a lot over my years as Batman. I've had to learn that not every plan I come up with will work. That just means I have to become accustomed to a new way of doing things."

"Stop trying to be a wise man and just tell me what you mean," Jason replied tiredly, finally turning his body to face Bruce.

Bruce sighed quietly, "I may not agree with everything you've done... but you have saved people, Jason. And that's what this life is about. I know that my previous approaches haven't given me the result I want, so I'm trying a new plan. Just know... I do love you, Jason. I know I've failed to show it over the years, but it's true."

For a moment, both men were silent. Jason kept his gaze lowered until he gave a small nod and looked back up at Bruce.

"Love you, too, B..." Jason murmured, his voice barely audible.

Bruce gave Jason a soft smile. Pride practically radiated off of him.

Nodding again, Jason made his way towards the stairway, "I think I'm gonna try and get some sleep."

"Alright. Goodnight, Jason."

"Night, B."