Batfamily Short Stories

A Box

At a family dinner, Alfred summoned all the family into the den and put a cardboard box onto the coffee table.

"I have here, a box."

Everyone looked at Alfred with a raised eyebrow.

"We can see that..." Bruce said slowly, being careful to keep his tone from sounding offensive to the aging butler.

"You are all going to put your weapons into this box." Alfred stated. "And until you do, you'll all be sitting in this room without dinner."

"You can't be serious..." Tim mumbled.

Dick and Barbara sent the boy a warning glance.

Alfred cocked an eyebrow, "Oh, I'm deadly serious, Master Tim."

Everyone looked at each other with skepticism, waiting to see who would be the first to break. Alfred looked on sternly, although a hint of amusement laced his features.

Surprisingly, it was Bruce that broke down first. He stepped forward and carefully set 3 regular batarangs in the box from his waistband before pulling a concussive batarang out of his shoe.

Out of everyone, Dick looked the most surprised at this revelation. But everyone else simply looked at Bruce smugly.

"What?" Bruce inquired casually. "I'm hungry."

With that, Bruce stepped behind Alfred and waited with his hands behind his back.

Cassandra stepped forward next, setting a pair of brass knuckles daintily into the box. She beamed at Alfred, who nodded, before standing next to Bruce

Then Barbara took the escrima sticks from the arms of her wheelchair and set them in the box, ignoring Dick's look of abandonment as she wheeled over to Cassandra.

Dick was the next to break. He put a single escrima stick and 3 wing dings into the box. Barbara grinned smugly.

Stephanie quickly followed suit, declaring that she was starving as she put two batarangs and a pair of brass knuckles into the box. Cassandra hugged her as she squeezed between her and Bruce.

Now it was just Jason, Tim and Damian. All three boys looked at one another, at Alfred, and back to each other in terse silence.

Dick sighed, "Come on, I wanna eat already!"

"Yeah, let's go!" Stephanie agreed.

Tim huffed, "Fine."

With that, he placed his compressed bow staff into the box, along with four regular batarangs and two flash-bang batarangs before huffing over to the line behind Alfred, ignoring Damian's smug grin and rude comment, which earned the boy a raised eyebrow from Alfred and a look from Bruce and Dick.

Now Jason and Damian were left to glare at one another harshly.

"I'm not losing to you, demon." Jason said firmly, crossing his arms. "I can go for days."

Damian scoffed, "Please. You would starve to death before I ever even felt the pangs of hunger."

Jason raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Everyone else was watching this with a mix of amusement and annoyance.

Almost ten minutes passed with the glare between Jason and Damian hardening. However, Alfred cleared his throat as the rest of the room was becoming anxious.

"Young masters, if you wouldn't mind."

Jason tensed under Alfred's gaze but refused to give up. It surprised everyone when Damian scowled and stamped his foot.

"Fine. I'll be the bigger person."

Even Jason was surprised as Damian huffed towards the box. He set three throwing stars and six batarangs in the box before pulling a full-sized wakizashi out from somewhere. Everyone looked at the boy oddly, except for Cassandra, who smiled faintly. The boy also pulled a karambit out of each shoe, setting them in the box before looking at Jason expectantly.

Jason simply raised his eyebrow even higher as he stepped towards the box. He pulled both handguns out of the holsters on his thighs, as well as one from the back of his waistband. Lifting his foot onto the table, Jason pulled out another small handgun from his boot, along with a long switchblade. From his other boot, he pulled two throwing knives. Moving back up to his torso, Jason took four throwing knives from his vest before reaching up under the bottom of his jacket and pulling out two more. Stretching his fingers under his collar, he also pulled out two karambits, another handgun, and a batarang.

Bruce raised an eyebrow at that last item but said nothing. The rest of the family, excluding Alfred, looked at Jason in shock.

Jason shrugged and adjusted his jacket, "What?"

Alfred raised an eyebrow and Jason sighed, pulling another switchblade from up his sleeve.

Alfred cleared his throat and Jason looked at him guiltily as he reached up his other sleeve, pulling out another karambit and placing it in the box.

Finally, Alfred nodded and the family shuffled into the dining room. Meanwhile, Alfred looked at the overflowing box with a fond smile.

"Whatever will I do about them?"