Your Promise | Shingeki No Kyojin ;; Eren Jaeger |

Chapter Fifty-Five

Eren

Everyone at headquarters has already returned to their daily routines, planning the next mission, and continue with our work as usual. No matter how much I try to move on, I can't stop thinking about Rose. Every corner I turn, I just want to see her again. The cells in the basement are frigid and dismal without her, the emptiness is unbearable... She deserved better than this. Mikasa and Armin try to comfort me, but nothing helps and they notice it too so they decide to give me more space. 

I'm not one to control my emotions well so it's better if I stay away from others until I'm in a stable mental state. Roaming around the perimeter of HQ, I spot her brother, Josef, in the stables tending to the horses. Looking back, I've never spoken to him before. He must be taking her loss really hard.

He looks up and recognizes my face. "Oh, Eren!" Josef calls out. I hesitate to go over so he comes out of the stables over to me.  "I just realized I haven't introduced myself so sorry for startling you. I'm Josef Wesler, Rose's brother," He then continues, "Are you alright? You seem absent-minded," He asks.

"I'm... Alright..." Looking at Josef, I see Rose in his eyes and my heart begins to ache. I lower my gaze to face the ground and grit my teeth. "I'm sorry for your loss, Josef," 

Josef sighs and places his hand on my shoulder. "Thank you, Eren. You know, Rose liked you a lot. Growing up, she lost someone very special to her. I thought that she wouldn't be able to love anyone because of her friend passing, but then you came and gave her hope to love again. In short, thank you for giving her the ability to love again before she died," Someone calls out his name and he quickly runs off to answer them leaving me alone.

"Her friend... That must be the boy that she spoke about on the night of graduation,"

As the sun sets, I visit the lake where Rose and I went to once more. The life surrounding the water thrives as the water stands still in serenity. The beauty and flourishing life here... It reminds me so much of her. 

Near the waters edge, Rose's grave stands with flowers surrounding it. Since it is costly to have graves for all of the soldiers that passed, the Survey Corps doesn't have a cemetery. However, I made one for Rose. It isn't much, just one of the dull blades that I put in the ground that Rose once used. I sit in front of it and let out a heavy and shaky breath. 

"Rose... I'm sorry, your grave doesn't really seem like it's much but considering the circumstances, it's the best I could do for now," I deeply breathe in to calm my nerves before I start tearing up. "I... I miss you every day. I can't stop thinking about you, you're on my mind all the time and I don't think I'll ever be able to go back to normal. I wasn't even there at your last moments. I should've gone with you... I just sat there like an idiot, what was I thinking? We even lost squad Levi... The losses we made on that expedition are too much..."

I pause as if I'm waiting for her to respond which is pointless. "I keep losing you... And this time it's for real. Everyone tells me I'll be okay, but I don't know... What should I do?"

• • •

Rose

Evening finally arrives and Rosalina climbs to the top before we depart. I change back into my uniform (Rosalina washed the blood stains out of it so now it's clean) and strap the omnidirectional gear around my legs and waist. I braid my hair so that it's not in my face and grab the Survey Corps cape from the chair next to my bed.  As I drape the emerald cloak around my shoulders, I glance at Sorn who comes down the stairs with her favorite doll in hand.