Your Promise | Shingeki No Kyojin ;; Eren Jaeger |

Chapter Sixteen

Sasha

As I sleep peacefully, Rose's voice brings me to consciousness and I grumble.

"Alright, alright, I'm up," I sit up expecting to meet Rose's annoyed glare as she is about to lecture me for not waking up but to my surprise, she's not there. Looking around, everyone else has gone off for breakfast as well.

"That's strange,"

I shrug it off and get out of bed, changing into my uniform. As I tie my hair up, Rose's voice can be heard again and I turn to see her figure still in bed.

"So she's not awake yet either?"

I climb up the ladder, prepared to shout good morning but stop myself as she whimpers in her sleep. "Raeger... Raeger..." She whispers. 

"What happened...?" I gently tap her and she immediately springs up. 

"S-Sasha?" She questions, holding her arms tightly.

"Yeah... Are you okay? You were..." I point to her face and she touches her cheeks, realizing the tears that streamed down them.

"I-I'm fine..." She hastily responds and wipes her face. 

"Did you have a bad dream?"

She sits in silence for a moment, frozen like a statue.

"Sasha, do you remember when you asked me why I'm not true to myself about my feelings?" Rose inquires and I nod. "It's been weighing on me for so long... But I think I should tell someone after all this time; is it alright if I tell you, Sasha?"

"Of course, Rose, what is it?"

She trembles but breathes in to settle her nerves. "My father was a scout and he would always tell me and my brother about the outside; that's what sparked our interest in joining the military. Later on, my dad was killed in battle but that didn't stop us. I knew my mother was against it, but she allowed my brother to join. At that time, I truly felt alone... None of the kids in my district understood my dream and often bullied me, until I met this one boy," Her entire body visibly tenses up. 

"His name was Raeger and we shared that same dream. After feeling alone for so long, he was the light that pulled me out of the darkness. He was my best friend... Raeger was smart and brave, always put others before him, and stood his ground, the things I wanted to be. But I relied on him too much instead of trying to better myself. Years after we met, he told me he loved me. I was so young that I didn't know how to react and I regret it to this day. He confessed because he had to move away due to an illness. Once I finally knew my true feelings for Raeger and what I wanted to say, I ventured all the way to Wall Sina where he lived... But I was too late and he died right before my eyes. We dreamed to see the world together, but that fantasy died along with him."

A chill runs down my spine at her words. She's been through so much and faced the death of the ones she's loved... How has she kept this inside for so long?

She trembles, her voice becoming unsteady. "I'm scared to face my feelings because I don't want what happened to Raeger to happen again with anyone else... I don't know if I can handle that again. Inside, I know there's a part of me that likes Eren, but I've tried so hard to push it deep down to forget about it, even if it's difficult to. I came here to be a soldier but I... I don't know what to do..." Rose buries her face into the palms of her hands. 

I reach out to her, placing a hand on her back. "Rose... Love is tricky, but it's also beautiful. You deserve to experience it. We're still young, we have to take risks, even if we're scared! Think of it this way, we're soldiers so we don't know when we'll die. Do you want to die full of regrets or knowing that you lived your life to the fullest and accomplished everything you could?" She peeks out from her hands and I grin. "I want you to live a life where you're happy. All I can do is give you a push, you have to be the one to take that first step."

Rose sniffles. "Thank you, Sasha... You're a true friend..." She embraces me tightly and I pat her back. 

"No problem, Rose, I'm here for you," I back out of the hug after a moment and grab her shoulders. "Enough of that though, let's go get some breakfast!!"

Rose lets out a chuckle and nods, her usual smile back on her face. "Mhm!"