Letters to my beloved [Complete]

Chapter 22

Kong's POV

I think I found my solution to life. A humongous carton of beer.

You know what allows you to never think about being royally ditched or spending nights imagining P'Arthit dating pretty girls around town? Being permanently drunk. Making sure I am never sober. And if I am never sober I never need to use my brain. See? Perfect solution.

Or atleast that's what my hungover ass was justifying as I stumbled out of my apartment at 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday after being cooped up at home almost all weekend. My addled brain trying to figure out which was the closest store that would agree to sell me more alcohol. Perhaps I should try and finally get some food in my system too.

"Kong?"

I was squinting my eyes trying to decipher what color was the signal across the street. Why did both the reds and the greens look so...so...yellow?

"Kong!"

Should I cross the road or should I wait? Well, as a good little boy that I was I did what I was taught since I was 5 years old. Look right, look left, look right again and then walk. So that's what I did and then march straight ahead.

"Kong! What the fuck!"

I could distinctly feel my feet walking and yet I was somehow moving backward. My elbow being tightly gripped, as my body was swung around to come face to face with one of my only living nightmares.

"P'Arthit?"

"Are you blind? Why the hell are you walking right into traffic."

"Uhhh...?"

"What's wrong with you?"

"Ummm...P'Arthit? "

"Are you fucking drunk?"

"No...?"

"Where were you going?"

"Across the street."

"Ok, I will take you."

"No!"

"Listen you are clearly too intoxicated to walk on your own. Let me help you cross the ro..."

"No! Just leave me alone."

Wow, the man was really, really strong. Why could I not shake his hand from around my arm.

"Listen Kong just please let me explain."

"I don't want to talk to you right now."

"Kong, wait, I can..."

"No! Just...just go back to your date. I can manage on my own."

"What date? What are you talking about?"

"You and...and...whatever. I don't care. Can you let me go already."

"But I..."

"Not today. Please. Just not today."

He looked right into my eyes and gave a slight nod as he released his grip and took a step back. The little alcohol in my system draining away faster than I would have liked as the headache settled in full force. My tired feet dragging my heavy body back home as he followed me barely two feet behind until I reached my apartment building and then turned around and left without a word.

Fuck!

I really, really wished for my sobriety to not kick in for atleast another day but turns out P'Arthit was going to screw up even that for me. It's not like between him and Turtle I didn't know why my mood was so messed up, what I didn't have any idea was how I wanted to deal with my emotions. Sooner or later I needed to find P'Arthit and apologize, and probably get over my ridiculous crush. Effing piece of cake right?

Well obviously not, which is why it's been almost four days and I haven't once wandered around library. Too scared that I would rush to read the diary and find it still unwritten. Four days since I had done pretty much everything to also ignore P'Arthit.

Was I running away? You bet I was. Somehow if I just didn't think about anything then none of it would matter. I would forget about Turtle eventually. I would switch schools soon and P'Arthit would be out of my life forever. And one day five years from now I would look back at this and call myself an idiot.

And also a massive, massive jerk.

Actually exactly what my friends were calling me even now. And I can't say I don't exactly agree with them. Cause I was very much still on the ignore P'Arthit train while my friends had very enthusiastically jumped on board being his biggest fans.

Obviously they were cause not only had he taken a major fall for them without once berating them, he had actually made his gang apologize to them. Can you imagine what that had done to their egos? The scariest third year bullies with head hung low, bowing down to the first years. Barring them to ever mess around with my friends again. While Mr. Mopey, aka me, had yet to even talk to him directly once after my half drunken embarrassment.

It wasn't until almost a week after my failed encounter that I actually ran into P'Arthit. Like physically ran into him. I was walking with my head in the clouds, my brain completely not focusing on the task at hand, which was pretty much only to walk in a straight line and not crash into anything. And just as I opened my mouth to launch into an apology I snapped it shut right back when I saw the man staring at me.

Except this time he didn't even attempt to say anything. He just helped me straighten up, bent down to pick some scattered papers, stuffed them back in my hand and simply walked away. He didn't even address me. No snide remarks. No cheeky comments. No threats to pummel me into pieces. No wanting to get back at me for blitz kissing him or causing his suspension.

I don't really know why that moment felt like a kick in the gut. Perhaps I wasn't exactly used to being the ignored one. Maybe it finally hit me how childish I was behaving. Was I really blaming P'Arthit for getting ditched by Turtle? Or perhaps seeing him on a date had rubbed me in a wrong way and I didn't totally understand why. Either ways I was putting the wrong blame on the wrong person. Mixing two totally different situations together to the point that it made my head all jumbled up. Perhaps it was high time I began sorting it all out.

So I decided to start with the first step. The one whom I actually liked.

I took a deep breath as I flipped the book open, smiling unconsciously as I saw the response I was dreading would be missing.

I am so, so, sorry about that day.

There aren't enough words for me to apologize for not showing up.

All I can say is that if there was any way for me to be at the cafe that day I would have made sure nothing would have kept me away.

I am not in a position to tell you why I wasn't,

But I hope you can find a way to forgive me.

I know I don't deserve it.

I know you were looking forward to meeting a friend,

Instead you had to face your enemy.

I would erase the day forever I could.

If it makes you feel better, my life couldn't suck anymore either.

I have decided it is high time I gave up on wooing my junior.

It is never going to work out for me.

Right now I would settle for him to just not despise me so much.

Anyway, I am not sure if you want to continue talking with me.

But if you do,

I will be waiting for your response.