Letters to my beloved [Complete]

Chapter 31

Arthit's POV

My leg seemed to have a mind of its own. I even clutched at my knee with both my hands, but the blasted thing kept bouncing up and down relentlessly. A nervous tick of mine that has always annoyed me. I don't even know why I was so nervous when my exams were done days ago. In fact for the past 3 days I have done little other than gorge on chocolate cake and binge watched one show after another, basically whiling away my time waiting for...Oh yeah, now I remember what I was so nervous about. Today was Kong's last exam. The very last day he would remain a student at our university. The last time he would officially be my junior.

I had been preparing myself for this day for ages and still I wasn't ready to face it. It just felt so...so final. Like once he would leave, he would take whatever fleeting relationship we had with him. Like this would be the last time I would ever get to see him. Our story ending before it even began. That idiot has given me more than one reason to wallow in doom and gloom since the minute I have laid eyes on him. But somehow nothing had weighed so heavily on my heart than the realization that this was finally the end. In fact the day he had nonchalantly dropped an invitation to a party for the last day of his exams cause he wanted to make a 'surprise' announcement to his friends I had pretty much spent the day with my face buried in the pillow, screaming my frustration.

Obviously I had absolutely no intention of going to his stupid, freaking party. As if I would be able to bear watching him grin away while he announced his transfer to another college. And yet I had done little all day other than stare at my watch every fifteen minutes, tracing each and every one of Kong's potential activities, like I had nothing better to do.

Duh! Of course I had nothing better to do. I was in the middle of obsessing over Kong leaving remember? My heartbeat almost matching the rhythm of my blaring alarm indicating the end of his exams.

I could almost picture him with his super satisfied smile placing his pen back in his bag and walking out the exam hall. His boisterous friends jumping all over each other while for some reason Kong always seemed so composed and calm. Even throughout our brutal pranks he rarely ever lost his cool. In fact I know more of his emotions through his letters to me as Simba. If we hadn't poured our hearts to each other as secret confidants for all these months I would have never even realized the struggles he was dealing with.

Obviously it couldn't have been easy for him to be so young and confused. Along with the enormous pressure his family put on him to succeed in everything he did. Not to mention the constant scrutiny and sucking up from all the students and professors alike. Any normal kid would have turned atleast a little crazy with so many things going on.

And then there was me.

If only I hadn't been a totally idiot that night at the beach. If only I hadn't been an utter coward and ran at the first sign of any emotions. If only I hadn't left Kong alone. If only I hadn't allowed his fucking boyfriend to manipulate him. If only I had stuck around to actually talk to him instead of storming out. If only I had...then what? What would have changed anyway? Sure he wouldn't hate me. Sure we might have even been friends. But so what? Not like he was crazy enough to fall for a bozo like me even in the best of circumstances. Maybe it was actually better this way. Once he left atleast I would get a chance to make a clean break. Start the dreaded moving on process.

At some point in the day during the same cycle of endless thoughts it seemed like I had fallen asleep. My dreams giving me very little respite. And yet I kept on sleeping. Almost dreading having to wake up. Grumbling under my breath when something kept trying to snatch me away from my safe heaven.

I twisted my face on my pillow when the fog finally started clearing, picking up my phone to see it was close 10 in the night. I had literally slept the day away. And that is when I realized what had disturbed my sleep. A persistent knock on my front door.