Azure Saviour | dark h.s.

forty two | 42

Okay, but like...imagine if he was calling you late at night, telling each other sweet nothings...fsjkdafjkl

This chapter touched my heart so much in many ways. I hope you enjoy it.

S x

war·ri·or

Céline.

Everything in my soul was crushed, shattered and completely broken. My heart felt like it was placed into a crematory, as it burned into the tiniest of ashes. My emotions inside were screaming, trying to escape vocally, but not a single thing escaped my lips. It was almost as if they were trapped in a chamber, slowly digging their way out with a spoon.

Tears rushed down my cheeks, without any option to switch them off - the fuse was blown. Everything was incredibly different from how the feelings crashed into my soul from just not many days ago. This was a million times worse.

The three words that I wished were to ever be spoken to me, caused me to walk away from the man who owned my heart completely. The idea of rushing right back into his arms and stay in his embrace for hours on end, ran through my mind multiple times; but I could never do it.

Physically seeing the fresh needle mark in his arm, was like feeling the drug being injected through my own body. However, it wasn't the sudden welcoming of numbness; but instead, a type of emotional torture. The infliction of pain that soared through me was infinite. He captured my heart and soul and left me captive, waiting for his return - only to secretly know that he wasn't coming back.

My birthday went and passed, and I paid zero attention to it - neither did anyone else. At least, to my mental knowledge, they didn't. They wanted to celebrate my twenty-sixth year of being alive on this planet, but why? In my mind, the purpose of that seemed pathetic and utterly useless.

Caramel eyes of my own peered down at my bracelet with the few charms dangling from it; but only one of them seemed to catch my attention alone. The simple 'H' silver initial he gifted me for Christmas. It was one that had was always something I looked at when I missed a certain man with beautiful jade eyes, and all I was able to do these days, was constantly put my entire focus towards it. I missed the English man with the worst jokes, so very much. There were far too many things that I longed for and to see again.

Thoughts rolled in, one after another until it stopped to a very concerning point; would I ever see Harry again? Could I? Would my heart ever be able to go through what I encountered the last time I saw him? Would my heart be able to survive listening to the same three words from his mouth, with them not applied to himself?

I promised myself and Harry that if he learned to save and love himself, he could come and find me. That would be the only time I would be able to stand being near him. That was what it was going to take to possibly let those exact same phrase back to his face.

What would his expression possibly be then? Confused? Thrilled? Mad that I didn't say them when he did? Sad? Happy?

It was safe to say that Harry didn't just have basic feelings, but rather deep and highly emotional ones. How could I even act in front of him again? Even if things miraculously became 'okay' again?

I hated change. I loathed it to an extreme extent - and that was murdering me right now.

Everything surrounding me had turned and flipped my world upside down in the past several months, that I hadn't even realised it. He brought love in my life, through every way possible. He radiated it to me, to my best friend, sister, and most importantly to Hazel. It was emitted to each of us in a very different way and I adored that about him. He knew how to handle different situations and how to deal with them.