Azure Saviour | dark h.s.

thirty eight | 38

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Let me just tell you, this is a LONG-ass chapter....but it's incredibly important with feels beyond. Just pretend it's a double update. Be prepared for emotions of good, bad, shit, happy, content, etc.

Enjoy.

S x

hard·ships

Céline.

A week exactly has gone by and I've never felt the need to just let go. As perfect - as could be - my life has been the past several months, there has also been hardships. Life can never truly be 'life', without them.

The small things in our lives that we tell ourselves we absolutely hate and can't stand, somehow turn into a blessing later on. Or the times where doing what we consider the most struggling action, but end up having the greatest outcome after. There is no doubt that one of those is of a student going through a seemingly impossible exam, thinking they failed; but in reality, they succeeded with flying colours and were the top of their class. Even if they didn't, the effort they made, is always worth it.

We may strive to perfection; however, it does not exist. We all have our own different idea as to how that word could be defined as. It's the ultimate state of excellence and flawlessness. It can also pertain to many things - to physical appearance, personality characteristics, actions and movements, and possibly, achieving the impossible.

In that sense, if Audrey Hepburn were still alive, she would argue with me, stating that, "nothing is impossible, that the word itself says I'm possible." She had every right to say it. Every single being, should believe it.

Sometimes all we need is a simple push, from ourselves - or another person. Having to soar through the sky, knowing that someone has your back through the hardships and the good times is purely comforting. Just knowing that there is someone to lean onto, can take a weight off a person's shoulders, and instantly relax. As close as I am with five people in my life, only three of them are the ones I'd take a bullet for with no hesitation.

It seems cruel to say that I would doubt a moment whether to risk my life for Lena or Sage, or that someone's life is more important than my own. We all have a purpose in the world, but at the same time, as selfless I consider myself to be, there is always a small percentage of selfishness that can overrule it. It adds a little bit of guilt in me and I can't do anything about it - even if it is something we consider to be a tad grim.

Hardships don't just end there. They include the moments when we feel like the weight of every single human's problems is carried on our backs, lifted by the strength of our muscles of all sorts - the tongue included. The things we say, are something we forget about entirely.

Work, family, strangers, can cause stress to a person's body, even if they don't mean to. At the same time, they can also cause happiness.

But what is stress? The Oxford Dictionary says that the definition is the state of a mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances. Out of those, mine was a purely heart-hitting pull, that has been planted there for over two years now. I want it to fade away - permanently. All I wanted was happiness and my specific sources of that, came from two people.

I sat on the bench, finding Harry already seated in his spot. He seemed like he was lost in thought, since he didn't realise that I was even here, until our sides brushed against one another. To be honest, I purposefully did that. I carefully moved the cup of coffee in my hands, but I didn't drink it.

He didn't turn my way or even look at me, but just placed his arm over my shoulder, pulling me closer to his body. Without thinking twice, I leaned my head on his shoulder. He felt the sadness roam throughout me. The question of 'how did he know?' Was something that I wish I knew the answer to. The way his body communicated with mine, it was unique. Since the first day we met, we didn't need a verbal conversation to indicate how we felt, it was always through our actions.