Loving Eazy...

Shock of The Hour..

*4 months later- November 15,1990* Janet's POV

I was finishing my last concert of my tour outside of Cali. It was in Nevada and I loved it here. The casinos were a great place to have fun but I also loved the restaurants here and everything. I'd been out almost every night I've been here. With members of my entourage and even some fans. I'd been here for about a week now and truthfully, with all the bullshit happening back home, I was really happy where I was at.

That day of the party, when Eazy yet again made me look like a fool and then used sex to make me shut up, was quite possibly the worst day I think I've ever experienced with him in my life. Even though the sex was great I obviously can't deny that, I happened to have looked into his eyes while he was on top of me and I saw nothing but coldness in his eyes. And instead of being the warm, inviting brown that they normally were, they were icy and hateful. Almost as if he was trying to say I was no longer his wife and ride or die, but rather another bitch for him to just stick his dick in. It's crazy how people don't have to say a word and yet you can know everything they're thinking.

I spent the rest of my week with Cube and Gina and with my baby. I stayed in their house, I had packed my stuff after Eric's drunk ass fell asleep after fucking me and I left. But not before getting all those ratchet niggas and bitches the fuck off my property. I told Ren,Yella and Dre to leave too and to not say shit to Eric. When he woke up that night or next day, he woke up to an empty house. He tried paging me and shit but I ignored them all and even blocked his number from Cube's phone. I made it clear I didn't to see any parts of him.

I spent time around Ari too. Apparently this girl had a little experience in psychology and shit and she thinks that I'm hopelessly insecure because of not only Eric but something else or somebody else. And as much as I hate to admit it, she was right. But she doesn't know who it is, it's my father. All my life I was told by him that I was fat, that I'd never be anything in life, that I was ugly and I'd never find somebody to be with. I was constantly told that Eric wasn't gonna be shit either and that I wouldn't be satisfied until he dumped me and left me all high and dry. The last part was somewhat true. Eric did grow up to be somebody, he made me a somebody too but he was leaving me behind.

That man ruined my life before it even began and before Eric stepped into the picture, aside from Mike I had no idea what love was. So the first nigga I heard it from I immediately thought was the one, and that nigga was Eric. So the possibility of this man never being my life again was almost too much to handle. So I guess that's why I stay. Ari told me that she felt for me but also that I needed to get my ass of my shoulders. I needed to realize I was Janet Jackson and that I could get anybody just as well as Eric could. And maybe that was true...

I was off the stage and was now being crowded into a limo with Lauren and my bodyguard Dave. They sat on either side of me and I sighed heavily as I removed my jacket. "Girl this your last concert before the one in LA tomorrow! You an official star fuck it up!!" Lauren laughed wiggling her hips as I laughed back at her. "Yeah I guess I am." I shook my head as we continued moving past clicking cameras and screaming fans pounding against the car windows. Suddenly Lauren's pager beeped, she looked at it and groaned. "What?" I asked before coughing. I felt the recurring queasy feeling in my stomach but ignored it.

"Eric is paging me again." I rolled my eyes. "Ignore it. He don't need to know nothing about me." Aside from that time at the pool party and in September when he and the guys made a surprise impromptu visit to me in Atlanta and we had sex then too, I haven't seen or spoken to Eric at all. And it's been about a month and a half since that September day. It was about 4 days after Londy's birthday. Yeah my baby is 1 now and I hate that I could celebrate her milestone with her. But what I do know is that I can expect tons of gifts and shit to greet me when I get home, because in addition to her daddy and her uncles Ren, Dre and Yella spoiling the hell out of her, I know my mom, Michael and Eric's parents bought her stuff too. And of course can't forget about Cube and Gina.

But I had stuff planned for when I got home so I wasn't tripping too hard. Lauren sighed. "Jay you're gonna have to talk to him at some point." I shook my head. "You're right but I can assure you that it's not gonna be right now.."

...

We finally made it back to the hotel. I went out with Lauren and a few of my background dancers. Lauren got seriously drunk and one of my dancers, Terrence decided to bring her back up to the room. He was drunk too and they had been feeling each other for a minute now so I guess they were gonna make something out of that. I laughed as I wished Terrence good night an watched as he carried Lauren in his arms into her room. I took my keys and opened up the door to my room.

It was pitch black but that's exactly the way I left it. I put down my purse and took off my shoes before sighing. I reached over and turned on the light. And I screeched a little bit as I seen Eric standing across from me, leaning against the hotel dresser. "E-Eric..." I stuttered as I stared at him. He looked as fine as ever but that evil ass smirk on his face is what had me terrified. He always had a smirk on his face, it was his resting face, but this wasn't a "good to see you, you fine as hell" kinda smirk, it was a "you thought you could go MIA on me and I wouldn't find you but looky looky what we have here.." kinda smirk. "What the hell are you doing here?" I continued and Eric leaned off of the dresser and came toward me.

"It's 4 am...where you been?" He asked and I began panting in nervousness. "I was out eating with some friends." I replied. "You could've called.." His voice was deep and menacing, he continued to get closer. Suddenly he was right in front of me and I grabbed the entire telephone off of the table next to me. "Don't fucking touch me Eric." I threatened holding the phone as a weapon. He didn't look the least bit fazed as he stared at me. "I ain't doing shit! And the hell you expect me to do E? Eat alone??" I yelled and he didn't say anything, he just continued to look at my body in my black pantsuit. He looked me up and down for a long minute then he finally spoke.

"You done gained a little weight." He stated and I jerked my head back before scoffing. "No I haven't." I turned my back to him. "Oh yes you have Jay." He walked behind me following my every move. "I have not Eazy!" I yelled and he laughed. "Yes you have, right here." He put his hands around my lower belly and rubbed. I froze because as I felt him rubbing I could feel that my stomach was actually in face pudgy, a hard kind of pudgy. "Yeah..you gained weight alright." He then kissed the side of my head and continued rubbing and I just stood there in utter disbelief. I could quite possibly be pregnant again. Talk about a fucking shock of the hour...

This is the next chapter guys. Next chapter will be up very soon. Like/comment. More to come.