I'll Love You Till the End

Chapter 1

I do everything in my power to not have my jaw drop. But my bag does. I jump up from the table surprised and scramble to grab everything and quickly pick it off the floor. I then look up apologetic and the doctor gives me a sympathetic look that annoys me. I know that my life sucks, but they don’t have to be so sympathetic to everything that happens to me.

I mean, they told me this once and said it was all over, so why does it hurt to tell you a second time and look so bad about it. But I thought that I would never have those words come out of his mouth again. It’s like my huge fight was for nothing. The bigger war is still on and I’m starting to lose that. I hate being powerless. Too weak to do anything for myself. That is the worst part of it all.

“I’m sorry that happened to you. There’s nothing the doctors can do anymore. It’s irreversible now. All I can do is say sorry. We’ve tried, we really did, but every single result is negative. Any kind of therapy we tried doesn’t seem to have any results to you.”

I give the best neutral face I ever gave in my life but I am seething inside. The looks on the inside, in my mind, are scary. You do not want to see it. Even scared me for a split second as I gave myself that kind of look. Let’s hope it doesn’t come back to me again.

“Yes I understand.”

He doesn’t get that I just want to get out of here now so he keeps talking. “Your lifespan depends how you live it. It could last at least a couple months to a year or two. It would be hard to live beyond that.”

I keep nodding to my death like its no big deal. My rage is growing now in my head and I’ve thought of a hundred different ways I could kill him. Or wait, just trash his office and storm out! Wait also I could punch him. No that won’t be very nice to a guy who just gave you bad news and practically pleads he’s guilty.

But I can control it a little and won’t let it shine through. For now. What he’s saying is I’ll die no matter what. No matter what I do. What happened to hope? Solves everything. Yea… right.

It’s good they didn’t put that for a Disney character. It would be too demented and some of the dumb kids wouldn’t know what’s going on to that poor girl on the screen. And it would just be plain out sad to see her go through what real people go through in the REAL life.

 I bet they would even start crying if her beautiful hair starts falling off and she looks sick. The parents probably would be disgusted at Disney for doing such thing to the poor girl on screen.

But hey, its real life. But for Disney everything is perfect and so that would never happen because the perfect guy would come in and fall in love with her even though her hair is gone and they would live off happily ever after and she would get better because of that.

I wish that was real life but real life is cruel and they just love to throw nasty curveballs that end up smacking you in the head.

 I shake off that nasty thought and keep listening to the doctor. He wasn’t talking about really important stuff to me so I zoned out. Quite easy to do now days. I mean I’m going to die anyways so why bother? Live life how you want. You never know when your last moment will be.