No One Can Know || Victor Zsasz

fourty nine

Pregnant.

The word echoed around in her mind as she shut off the phone. Her father was staring at her with wide eyes, but she couldn't care about his opinion, at least not while she was trying not to black out.

There was a baby in her uterus at that moment and she wasn't sure how long it'd been there. Was it there when she'd had drinks with Potter a few days ago? Was it there when she broke down over her dad being shot.

Of course, it was, that little voice in her head said. That baby had probably been there a month or two, meaning she'd had plenty of drinks with it in there. Hell, she and Vic had done it a lot since then. Was that bad for the baby?

She was brought out of her worry by Jim coughing. It was an obviously fake cough meaning it was to grab her attention, yet she internally thanked him for not just yelling out the words she wasn't sure she was ready to hear again.

"Anything you want to tell me, Novie?" His voice was strained, but still polite in that almost pushy way of his.

She shook her head no and Jim sighed.

"Anything you need to tell me?" She nodded at that question. "When you're ready."

She wrapped her arms around her middle like all pregnant women did when they were nervous. She guessed it was a way to protect the baby from whatever the perceived threat was.

"I threw up this morning . . . a lot." Her hands started shaking in a way they'd never done before and suddenly she was disgusted with the way she was acting.

Twenty-two years old and behaving like the child she was carrying. If she was old enough to get it in there then she was damn well old enough to deal with talking about it.

"And?" As soon as the question left his mouth all of the confidence she'd built up left.

"And it wasn't just the bad hospital food from when I visited you the other day," she said and took a deep, much-needed breath. "I'm pregnant."

It came out so quiet she was sure he couldn't have heard it, but he did.

"Does Vi-," she caught the way his voice hitched on Victor's name. "Does He know?"

Her mind floated to Victor and what sort of reaction he'd have. She'd caught herself doing that ever since the thought entered her mind that morning. She knew he joked about their kids and being parents, but there was a difference between hypotheticals and reality. This was the reality, and it was terrifying.

"No, Victor doesn't even suspect anything. I just started to wonder this morning when I called Potter and she put the thought in my head." Novella wrapped around her stomach more, the beige sweatshirt wrinkling with her movements. "What if he leaves me?"

As soon as the question was out she wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of it. He wouldn't leave her. He might be a hit man with little to no morals, but he'd never abandon her. It wasn't in his nature. Besides, even when he talked in hypotheticals he seemed to love any sort of kid they'd have.

"Then I'll arrest him," Jim said and smiled that weird little smile of his.

Novella laughed a bit at the words and expression and found herself uplifted.

"How do you feel about it all?" He asked her.

She took in a deep breath and thought hard. How did she feel about it all?

"I'm scared mostly. I'm more scared than I've ever been in my life, but not in the 'I'm about to die' way. I'm scared in the 'I'm going to be a mother' way. I mean, my fake mom was shitty at best and my biological mom died before I knew her. Not to mention all the crazy that this kid is going to be biologically coded for." She then realized just how messed up this kid could be if she didn't raise it the right way.