Back when things were much less muddled,
Or not to the point they are now,
Where stress was high,
But not for the same reasons,
I remember you telling me,
On the bathroom floor the night before you left my life once again,
That you were sad to be leaving,
We had failed once again,
A sort of resolved kind of sadness.
Back then I didn't understand,
My gut telling me it was wrong,
That we could fix things if we just tried more,
Tried a little longer,
I could find the solution to our problems.
Flash forward a year,
And we're about at the same spot,
The "I don't knows" flying back and forth,
With the stress mounting from just life itself,
I remember that small little phrase,
And for once,
I understand.
It's not something I want to cry about,
I've shed all that I can,
Bone dry,
Yet still I feel sad.
Sad that I can't hold on this weight,
Sad that I am not that Right Fit,
Sad that I am not as sad as I should be,
Sad that I won't be your Person in life.
I always thought of you before me,
Even when it didn't seem like it,
I would break down far too easily,
Or at least that's how it was seen in your eyes.
So many things are mounted against us,
And like we said a year ago,
It cannot only be one of us who fights,
And I feel that as each day passes,
My one man army is slowly deteriorating,
I am losing that strength to fight,
I am losing that will to hope...
But then you throw things at me that I wasn't expecting,
Talks about future plans that only I seemed like I was producing,
Parts of things you wish to do with me,
Others you do not,
A whiplash I've dealt with for many years,
Yet I don't know how to do it now.
You say you're unsure of things,
The "I don't knows" and harsh truths thrown right in my face,
I always cave to your desires,
Even when I know better.
But I guess that's what you do for those you love,
You overlook their hardships,
Their setbacks,
But again,
How can I be the only one?
To see your flaws and accept them as you,
Yet when you look at me...
Somehow I'm just not the One.
Your words cut deeper than any blade I ever used,
And for that,
I am still confused,
"Am I the right match for you?"
"Or am I a good filler till things line up better for you?"
Written 2/9/19
YOU ARE READING
Poems Of An Average Girl
PoetrySo this is the poem book I have written for the people who like my poetry but are sick of it always being about Love xD so enjoy and comment if you so choose. If a poem has a "*" after it, it touches on some very dark subjects and are to read with c...
