I like to play this little game,
What Would Middle School Me Think of Me Now,
Because back then I had the world figured out,
At least I thought so.
Yes,
I figured I would never get any piercing,
Or tattoos,
Wouldn't wear tight or short clothing,
Never get into drinking,
Or anything of the sort.
Yet here I am,
Five piercing,
Three tattoos,
Owning mostly tank tops and short shorts,
I work at a place where I wear scalemaille tops,
And go out with people till early hours in the morning.
And I broke my biggest rule.
I wouldn't ever date.
What was the point?
I would always tell myself in Middle School,
All it led to was heartbreak and Pain,
And the people I knew who had crushes,
Or they cared deeply about,
Usually just left them in the dust.
Little jaded me had the right idea there I guess,
People are complex,
And at every turn when trying to be more in their life,
Someone always fucks up,
One or the other,
Sometimes even both,
Most of the time both...
Yet I still play that game,
Maybe out of fear of being alone?
Maybe because I know not everyone in this world is going to rip my heart out?
Or maybe I'll just keep messing up in that area in my life,
I've always had too big of a heart to know what to do with.
Middle School Me would never have seen this being the outcome,
Hell she would barely believe the stories I have to tell,
I barely believe them myself...
Maybe She would tell me to just fuck off,
That people aren't worth the hassle,
I wish I had her spirit still,
The "fuck what people think" mentality,
But I can't.
I care about people too much.
Care about what they think,
Care about what they say,
To me,
Or behind my back.
Some days the game is more painful than others,
Some days it's the only thing that gives me peace,
Thinking about something I dodged and Younger Me would be proud of,
Or finding passions I didn't know I have,
Most days though,
It's just wondering how I got into this hole...
So I'll continue to muse over those Simple Times,
When Life was mostly about grades,
And walking into crowds with a glare set deep in my eyes,
And Isolation was actually my Friend.
YOU ARE READING
Poems Of An Average Girl
PoetrySo this is the poem book I have written for the people who like my poetry but are sick of it always being about Love xD so enjoy and comment if you so choose. If a poem has a "*" after it, it touches on some very dark subjects and are to read with c...
