My Brother's Boyfriend ✓

Eight

Dropping my bag, I rush into my mother's arms, completely taking her by surprise. 

"Ni, baby, what's wrong?" She asks, so concerned. 

"I just...I-I had to get out of there!" I sob into her hold. She leads us over to the couch to sit down because I'm practically dangling off of her. 

"What happened, lovebug?" 

"Harry- and Nick - and Toby- and everything- and I couldn't be there anymore!" I sob out, unable to fully articulate what exactly has happened. 

"Sweetheart, what about Harry and Nick? And who's Toby?" 

I never told her about Toby, and I never told her about my feelings for Harry, so this is the time to, as one may say, spill the beans. 

"Okay...so...about five years ago I realized I was gay...right?" I say and look to her with my red eyes for confirmation and she nods, "Well...the reason I realized I was gay was because...I had feelings for Harry. And I never told anyone! So when Nick comes home two years later and says that Harry kissed him and then they started their relationship, my heart was breaking! 

And I had no idea how to tell him! Or anyone! But...they kicked me out of their friend group because I'm quiet and shy and they didn't want me anymore. I wasn't important anymore, and I...I don't know why..." I trail off, my voice growing quieter and laced with sadness. 

"And then...then we got to Uni and I thought it was my chance to finally make some friends, maybe even move on...and I did...I met Zayn and he's my only friend, as you know," my mum knows all about Zayn, "And then, a month and a half ago, I bumped into this guy at breakfast and spilled my apple juice all over him but he was smooth and cool about it. He introduced himself as Toby and we went on our separate ways. 

But I ran into him again later that day and he bought me lunch, so we chatted. About two weeks later, he asked me to be his boyfriend. 

He was so kind, mum, and so sweet and romantic and he was always showing me affection and taking me on these amazing dates and everything. He loves books, so he has no problem with the fact that I talk about them all the time, and he looks at me like I'm the moon in his night sky. 

But then he started getting...less nice. And he wasn't being as kind and sweet. I mean...he's still sweet...but when he isn't, it's...bad. 

On Friday night, he made me go out to a party with him and I- I didn't wanna go! I don't like parties and I'm shy but I went with him because I love him and he loves me and he makes me happy so I went. Well, I kissed him because Harry was there and watching and I wanted him to see that even though he doesn't want me anymore, someone else does. 

Then Toby got needy and brought me to a bedroom upstairs and...and I had to...help him out if you know what I mean," I say and look to her, hoping she'll understand. The horrified look on her face tells me she does, "Well, I guess I didn't do it right or my mouth wasn't open wide enough," I can't believe I'm saying this to my mum, "So he hit me. He backhanded me across the face and the ring on his hand cut my cheek. That's why I have this," I point to the cut and bruise on my cheek. 

"He fell asleep and I left and got into a fight with Harry and I yelled at him, mum. I cursed at him and yelled at said mean things but I couldn't stop myself I was just so angry with him. 

So I left and then the next day, I was late to breakfast with Toby and he apologized for hitting me the night before and that he loves me too much to ever hurt me and that it will never happen again. But that night when he was dropping me off at my room he kissed me and I grabbed onto his shirt and then he pushed me away and yelled at me and flicked me on the forehead before storming off, all because I wrinkled his shirt.