Someone's Forever

83.1 Dark of Light: Alicia

Years back, I confess this to my mother, I remember I had tears rolling down my cheeks, a small girl—perhaps in early teen years I was and strangely instead of showing anger, I found a faint smile on my mother's face through my blurry vision. It surprised me utterly, amazed me how when I confess I was lying hiding things, she is smiling wiping my tears instead of scolding and punishing her daughter.

When I asked, her answer was simple, you yourself gave punishment and along with punishment you had learnt.

Frowning I sat utterly clueless when she explain, your conscience knows what's wrong or what's right, it's up to us whether we hear the incessant call of it or not. You knew it was wrong and you believe you did wrong. I'm happy you realized it yourself, now you won't commit mistakes that would hurt you. Your mind and conscience will guide and protect you.

Years back, I heard her and then I had faced many problems but, whether it was good or bad, easy or difficult, right or wrong, I had been guided by my conscience, my heart; it may made things tough for me initially but the peace of mind came to me at process was my reward I would keep facing all the sufferings.

I remember there were cases during my internship when I was offered bribe, for my signatures on small reports, both that party and mine knew they won't affect the overall statements, I refuse smiling. The matter never reach higher authorities, I wasn't praised in fact my seniors appraised me for the negative remarks the enraged clients gave for my honest report. Even there I was satisfied because there I had my peace of mind, I hadn't done wrong, I hadn't cheat to my work, I was happy I had chose the call of conscience. Always!

The tall glory of a familiar edifice in front me, somewhere startles me as I recall the learning I had stored in my heart. Looking at the vast structure under the gloomy sky, I can't help but feel a tightening in my stomach. The searing burden overwhelming me since the moment I realize my grave mistake—sin should I announce it, it has making me restless, chewing up my conscience.

Unintentionally my grip on the door of car tighten, the chilly winds can't keep my palms getting sweaty. With a heavy sigh, I turn away from glorious A V over the crown of sky reaching structure, before staring back at my car parked a little away on the side of road, I shut the door close and breath when the swap of wind tickle me.

The mourning dilemma and peace of mind for me resides when I cross the bridge of apology. Not from one but all of them, the people have given me so much, yet I feel utterly perplexed and sweaty to focus on one person who has made me rot in grief.

I bit my lip, hard. The clink of key ring around my index finger makes noise as I move ahead, crossing the distance to reach other side of road, to the entrance.

"You can take my coat." I cringe at the announcement beside me, I dart my eyes to Fergal who stood at a distance from me. In my mental rumble I almost forgot his company. I almost frown at the man offering his blazer to me, when I realize the crawling goose bumps, the chilly wind gifting me in cold weather, the fog coming out of my mouth speaks all about my freezing insides.

"Won't you feel cold?" I asked instead staring at the man in thin shirt over his solid built body. In return Fergal smiles at me, a genuine friendly smile like he has booked for Tiara only, and shaking his head, approach me.

"My temperature stays warm and this wind doesn't have much effect on my body." He explains before placing the thick blazer in my arm. His slight hesitation didn't go unnoticed by me.

The moment I rush out of home after talking to Jerry, I didn't expect along with gloomy cold winter, few gloomy faces would greet me in diffidently. A gasp ripple out of my lips when I witness Mrs. Mahri—yah snuggling to a grey hound—wolf in front of main entrance gate. I almost lost my balance before Fergal stable me, my gasp had already announce my presence, the wolf and Mar—ri—yah straighten, I turn to offering a smile in gratitude who seems aloof.