World's Apart

J Is For...

"Ali you need to leave, it's not safe... Go home,"

"I am home," her eyes are becoming heavy and her words sound slow and sluggish leaving her lips.

"Ali?" she can hear her fathers voice calling her but her head rolls back heavy and her eyes shut once more...

"Ali?"

Silence.

When she finally awoke there was no sound. Her neck creaked from laying on the cold hard surface. It was dark around her, the only light was from a nearly spent candle burnt almost to the nub. The shelter was cold and as she exhaled her breath fogged up into a billowing cloud. She slowly wiggled her fingers and gasped at their stiffness. As she started to lift her head she let out a small strangled cry. Touching a hand to her head she pulled back bloody fingers. Her head throbbed as memories of the night came flooding back to her.

James.

The shelter.

The light.

The bomb.

Jack.

Dad.

James!

Panic coursed through her. In the blast she had been thrown back into the shelter but he was out there, alone and in the cold and dark.

Ali slowly and painfully lifted herself up from the floor, groaning with each movement. Instinctively her hand went to her stomach and she prodded a finger against it.

"Please move," her eyes welling with tears now "Please," Ali felt nothing and in that moment her heart sank and tears spilled from her eyes.

"I can't lose you too," she wailed.

A low deep rumble off in the distance stopped her tears suddenly. She wiped away the moisture off her face and moved silently towards the door of the shelter.

As she paused to listen, fragments of conversation made their way into her consciousness.

"I told you the city wasn't safe,"

"You need to leave, it's not safe..."

The low rumbling continued in the distance but it was hard to say if it was yet to come or had already been. Fear consumed her but inhaling deeply she barged open the thin metal door allowing the cold outside air to choke her. She needed to find James quickly and the two of them needed to leave London.

Her eyes took a few moments to adjust to the dark hazy outside world. Ali had no idea what time it was, probably a few hours after midnight judging by the sky but it was hard to tell.

As her eyes adjusted Ali sank to her knees at the edge of the grass. She didn't care that soft wet mud was covering her dress or that soot and Ash was raining down onto her hair. As she regarded the houses around her, they were destroyed. Once where her beautiful regal house had stood was now just a rubble of bricks, only the back wall was left standing but even that had its whole left side obliterated. All the houses on the street were the same and smoke rose as fires burned.

She didn't even realise she was crying. Through the blurred haze and the ebbing darkness her eyes tried to focus. Her mind was a whirl with a thousand thoughts.

James.

The baby.

The bombs.

Still sank in the cold wet mud her eye was suddenly caught by a faint glimmer of white buried amongst the rubble.

"James?" Ali's voice is more of a croak.

"James?" she is screaming now as she races up the lawn towards him. Her  cheeks hot with tears, she falls to her knees beside him. His face and hair are blackened with ash and the side of his face and once white shirt are soaked with blood from a deep cut running across his hairline.

"James," Ali gently touches his face "James wake up," a tear rolls off her nose and her voice breaks.

The low rumbling in the distance brings a sense of urgency back to Ali.

She shakes his chest "James we have to go... Please James!" frantically she pleads.

With a low throaty cough James grumbles and his brilliant blue grey eyes open.

"My love," he whispers with a pained smile "To see your face again..."he struggles to breathe through his words and breaks out into a fit of coughing.

Ali's eyes widen as she watches James struggle. Blood gathers at the corner of his mouth as he splutters.

"James we have to go-"

"Ali,"

"I'll help you up, come on-"

"Ali,"

"James they might come back! What if they come back?!"

James pauses and watches her delicate face contorted with fear. He takes her hands in his and kisses them softly.

"You need to... Go," he says desperately.

Ali squeezes her eyes shut as tears fall freely "I'm not leaving without you,"

"You need to go... You and the baby," he squeezes her hands again.

Ali wails then "I think the baby is gone," she sobs "They're not moving,"

James squeezes his eyes shut and inhales slowly and deeply. As he exhales his breath wavers as he holds back tears. He reaches out and places a hand on Ali's stomach.

"Hi there little one. What a journey hey? I need you to do something for me. I need you to be brave, and to be big and strong. I need you to love your mother, I need you to love her for the both of us, love her as much I love her and as much as I love you," he pauses for a moment struggling for breath.

"God do I love you. I may be a doctor, but biology isn't all it cracked up to be. No matter what...happens, you'll always be my child and I will always be with you,"

Silent tears fall down her cheeks as she listens to James speak. His hand softly rubs her stomach and ever so faintly a flutter emulates across he stomach. Ali laughs through her tears and James does also.

"They're okay," she cries leaning her head into the crook of his neck. "You saved them,"

James smiles but shakes his head he cups Ali's face in his hands "No, you will save them, but you have to go... Now,"

"Come with me," she pleads stroking his hair.

"I won't make it my love," he gestures to his legs. Ali's eyes look down and see a large mound of rubble crushing his legs and abdomen, blood pools around the site and Ali turns her head away in despair.

"I'll go get help," she cries, her voice thick with sadness. She tries to stand but James holds her hands.

"Don't," his voice is weak but holds a current of desperation.

"You can't... L-l-leave me James, I need you. Do you understand? I need you Who's going to love me now? Who's going to tell me everything will be alright? To make me laugh? To dry my tears? Our baby needs a father," she delicately strokes his cheek as his beautiful eyes look upon her.

"I will always love you Ali. Being... Being your husband has brought me more happiness than you'll ever know. You are my whole life Ali, but I am merely a c-chapter in yours. You're going to go on and do great things because I know you and I b-believe in you. You are good and you are kind. You're an extraordinary person Ali Dawes, and you deserve an extraordinary life. Letting me love your child like they were my own was a privilege and I'm honoured to have felt their kicks, seen you grow, witnessed the joy they brought to you... And will continue to do so, but... But... They have a father and he... He made you a promise once, he promised that he would make it back to you. Wait for him Ali, wait for him and he too will love your child... I know I do," his voice breaks as he coughs and splutters.

His breathing is laboured but he takes Ali's hands in his and kisses them over and over.

"I love you Ali Dawes... Thank you for this little piece of extraordinary," he lays his head back and brings Ali's hands to his lips once more.

He holds them there and she can feel the warmth of his breath on them until she can't feel it no more. The brightness from his eyes fades away and Ali kisses his beautiful face over and over as she cries harder than she ever has before...