Agreeing to something is easy, but when you think about it, it is where it gets complicated.
"How is it living with my sister?"
I stopped stirring my coffee with a straw and looked at Ayesha.
"Huh?"
"You look conflicted. Is everything okay?"
"Ah, yeah," I leaned against the couch, sighing, relaxing myself as I looked at Ayesha. "Everything is fine, I am just thinking about something."
"Engagement?"
"Maybe."
"It must be hard." She said smiling a little. "I can't imagine myself being engaged at a young age."
"The feeling comes naturally. The happiness, excitement and contentment. You will forget how young you are when you are into it."
"Wow. You are so in love."
The word made my hands tremble. Ibinaba ko ang mug sa table.
"Obvious ba masyado?"
"Yes, you are glowing." Sagot naman niya ng nakangiti.
I watched Ayesha drink her coffee. The ring on her right hand glistened, making me shut my eyes for a brief seconds.
"Living with your sister was okay. We did not really hang-out that much."
"Oh! You were actually listening."
"Ayesha, I might be in deep thoughts, but trust me, I can hear you."
"Okay, okay." She leaned across the table. "Was my sister really with random girls?"
"Random girls? No."
"Uncle Andrei said she..."
"She was in love with one girl. And that girl happened to be my bully."
"Wow." Her features fell sad. "So, Alyssa is really into women."
Hindi ako naka pag-salita sa sinabi niya. I could say she is still against it. They accept Alyssa for who she is, for what she chooses to be, but I know, nandun pa din yung against.
"She is into women."
Tumingin siya sa labas at saka bumuntong hininga.
"I am scared for her."
"Why? Is it because she will not be saved?"
"Yeah."
Napaiwas ako ng tingin sakanya. I could not defend anything when it comes to the bible's teaching. Hindi ko kaya, hindi ko kayang suwayin ang turo ng Diyos.
"Is it unforgivable though?"
"What?"
"Being gay, lesbian, bisexual, I don't know." I shrugged looking into her eyes. "Is it unforgivable?"
Siya naman ngayon ang napaiwas ng tingin saakin. I saw how her hand shook as she picked her mug and sip.
"It depends on what you believe into..." she finally said.
"What do you believe in, Ayesha?"
She looked at me. "That is a challenging question to be honest."
"How so?"
"Kasi, I was born to believe in Him, His teaching, and all that religious stuff. Like, lahat kami religious, Dennise. But Alyssa is different, she is the only one who is different."
"Dis her differences swayed your beliefs?"
"I don't know. I still think she is in a phase where she don't know what she really wanted."
