Hannah had listened to Camilla's advice. Although she kept it to herself, she had decided to start writing out her feelings and going to poetry meets where she had met Camilla's friend Ryan, known poetry enthusiast. They had begun to hang out more and more as Hannah's writing skills became better.
One day, as they sat in her room Hannah had decided to read Ryan a personal poem she had wrote, wanting to hear his thoughts on it.
"You should publish this." He says to her, reading it over again.
"Oh no. No way. This does not leave the safe space." Hannah responds, waving her hands to signify she didn't want it out there. "No, people need to see this. It will change them."
Hannah's face scrunches in confusion at Ryan's determination, arguing back "no, they don't."
Ryan sighs, moving so that he faced towards her on the bed. "The whole point of creative expression is to hold up a mirror to the world so hopefully these god-awful people can start to see themselves and make connections to help them get through their dreary-ass lives." Hannah doesn't respond, so Ryan continues. "Your pain.. your pain is important to other people."
Hannah shrugs, standing up and muttering that she was going to use the bathroom, leaving her poetry book with Ryan, something she would regret for the rest of her short life.
"It's her writing. I can totally recognize it." Jessica says to Camilla, leaning forward on her desk so their conversation was a little more private.
"No way. Why would she write something like this?" "I don't know. But even if it isn't her, I feel bad for them. So, humiliating." Jessica responds with a laugh, Camilla laughing a little too in agreement that it was a pretty humiliating poem to have out there.
Neither of the girls had noticed that as they talked Hannah had come into the class and taken her seat only two seats away in the back, listening to their words in embarrassment.
"It has been brought to my attention that Ryan's publication now includes poetry. And since we're doing sonnets this semester, and since you're all going to be distracted by it for the rest of the day anyway, I thought we would take a minute to parse the work of this anonymous poet." The English teacher begins, flipping through the school magazine as Marcus fake coughs, muttering a "Hannah", and earning laughter from some other immature students.
"There's a sort of naked vulnerability to it that I like. It's quite intimate." The teacher says, laughter erupting throughout the class again making the teacher chuckle herself. "Intimate is not a dirty word." She looks back down, beginning to read the poem.
"Today I am wearing lacy black underwear for the sole purpose of knowing I am wearing it." As the teacher reads it, Jessica whispers things in Camilla's ear, both girls trying to hide their laughter as the teacher goes on. "I've got skin, miles and miles of skin. I've got skin to cover all my thoughts like Saran Wrap." Everyone continues to laugh, some hiding their laughter and others bursting out.
Camilla looks back at Jessica, ready to make another joke but someone else catching her attention. She notices Hannah with her head down, a noticeably sad expression lay on her face, immediately making her laughter stop.
Later in the week, after one of Liberty High's very successful pep rally's, Camilla had stood with her boyfriend and the other boys on the baseball team in the almost completely empty gym. She held Montgomery's hand as she talked to her over pepped best friend.
Jeff had eventually stopped talking for a second, looking behind her while mid conversation, causing her to look behind herself also, noticing Clay had been sitting on the bleacher's alone.
"Hey Jensen." Jeff calls, walking towards Clay, Camilla following after telling her boyfriend she'd be right back. Montgomery had glanced over to where she was heading, and hesitated for a moment, but he decided to let her go, deciding that Clay posed as no threat and wouldn't try anything with his girl and if it came to the worst, Jeff was there to protect her.
"Don't you have a class to get to?" Camilla asks, walking besides Jeff as they step onto the bleachers, Jeff holding onto her arm to help her take the large steps.
"Don't you guys?" Clay asks, confused.
"No, man. We just won State and Cam is the head cheerleader. You know they don't make us go to school anymore." Clay chuckles, shaking his head. "Yeah, you guys wish."
The baseball team began to leave, Montgomery motioning Camilla to call him when she's done.
"I'm wondering why after such an excellent pep rally, it seems like your pep has not been rallied." Camilla asks, leaning forward and placing her elbow on Jeff's knee as he wraps an arm around her, knowing now that Montgomery was gone they could go back to their usual closeness.
Clay glances at them, furrowing his eyebrows a bit as he noticing their position before chuckling and choosing to ignore it. "I'm not a pep sort, I guess." "Okay." Camilla nods, Jeff smirking as he also nods his head. "I didn't see you sit next to Hannah." He says to Clay.
Clay begins to blush, almost at a loss of words. "But I never sit next to Hannah."
"You always try to." Camilla responds, tilting her head a little to the side towards Jeff's chest, as Jeff nods his head in agreement.
"Not lately." Clay says in a sad tone, the three becoming silent.
"Remember that poem that everyone was talking about?" He asks randomly.
"Everyone was talking about a poem? How is that possible? Who talks about poems?" Jeff asks, squinting his eyes and waving his hand around. Camilla laughs a little, moving closer to Clay and leaning more across Jeff's lap. "I remember it, Clay. What about it?"
"I made fun of it." Clay says in a sad tone, Camilla snickering a little. "We kind of all did Clay."
"And I didn't know it was hers, and.." "Wait it really was hers?" Camilla asks surprised. She had heard the rumors about it being hers, but never really knew for sure due to her being too busy to talk about it directly to Hannah throughout the busy week.
Jeff shakes his head, sighing. "Man, if you and Hannah's relationship were a novel, a major theme would be 'mistakes.'" "Thank you." Clay says sarcastically, nodding his head and making Camilla laugh loudly.
"We'll figure this out." Jeff says.
"The last time I took your advice, she ran out on me at the dance." Clay responds.
"No, no no no, that wasn't my fault, all right? If I recall correctly, it was your nerves and uptight nature that just ruined everything. Oh and Montgomery being a dick." Camilla looks up at her best friend, eyebrows raised at him causing him to look down at her. "No offense."
She rolls her eyes, holding back a laugh. "None taken."
"Look, you both are just too hung up on shit. We'll work on this." Jeff continues.
"I don't have an uptight nature." Clay argues back, Camilla and Jeff not uttering a word and just giving him a look that tells him 'you totally do have an uptight nature.' They all chuckle, but Camilla's phone ringing cuts them off. She stands up, answering it and walking off the bleachers to have a little privacy. "Hey babe, what's up?"
Jeff starts to stand up too, starting to speak again. "You know what? We're gonna have a gathering this weekend. Alright? Me, you, Hannah, my girl Cam, and some friends. I'll text you." Clay looks up at Jeff, curiosity filling him at what the gathering would be like.
"Don't talk like that when you're around the guys, Monty." Camilla giggles in a whisper, but Clay and Jeff still hearing her and making faces of disgust.
"I don't really do parties." Clay says, watching as Camilla that has now gotten off the phone, and Jeff begin walking out the gym doors together.
"You'll do this one." They both respond to him, giving him a smirk.
"See you saturday, Jensen." Clay hears Camilla yell, excitement filling her voice.
