Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

36 (November 15th, 1975)

BRIAN'S POV

The night in the tour bus had been horrible - but at the same time way too short.
I've slept for it felt like five minutes and I was deadly tired as I was woken up by the first sun rays in the morning.

A sharp pain ran through my head and made me flinch.
I hated hangovers. That's why I refused to get drunk most of the time.

There were a few girls in the bus with us, their make-up and hair was a mess and they were half naked and asleep.
The tour nights would continue to be as wild as they had always been, it seemed like.
I couldn't even remember who these ladies were or where they came from.

I moaned and frowned as I struggled to sit up on the stiff bus seat. My back hurt. Probably because of the uncomfortable position I had been sleeping in.

The boys were still asleep, all of them.
I looked over to Roger who was sleeping in a strange, painful looking position, his arms laid around two of the girls.
I chuckled and shook my head slightly.
The groupies loved Roger the most but I didn't feel jealous, for some reason.
I knew that Roger had only eyes for me. Well, at least he had said so. And that statement had made me feel warm inside my heart and thinking about  it, it still did.
Also, probably the fact that it was girls he had wrapped his arms around calmed me down a little. Roger was gay after all. All those girlfriends he'd had before were just an attempt to be normal, to adapt to society. At least that's what it was for myself.

It was freezing cold. Of course. It was November after all.
I shivered and curled up a little.
I observed the interior of the bus; it was a mess. Clothes, empty bottles and cigarette butts everywhere.
The air was thick and heavy, it stank of cigarette smoke and alcohol.
My hand wandered towards the bus seat next to me and grabbed a jacket which was lying on top of it. I didn't know who it belonged to but I didn't really care either.
I cuddled into the jacket. Much better.

My hair was a mess, it was everywhere. I tried to press it down a little with my hands to reduce it's volume but that didn't work out, so I just stroked some curls out of my face to be able to see my surroundings.

The gig tonight would be intense, especially since we were all going to be wrecked after last night.

I heard a weak moan from Roger and he moved a little, opening his eyes slowly.
His gaze wandered around, then it stopped at the sight of my face.
I smiled at him. "'Morning, Roggie" I whispered.
I didn't want to wake up the others.

ROGER'S POV

I was so wrecked. An awful headache tortured me and my whole body hurt. There was a chick on each side of me, sleeping.
I rolled my eyes and pulled my arms out from underneath them.
Brian was there, though, which made the whole situation a little better.
He looked like a super fluffy poodle, his hair was wild.
I laughed a little at his messy appearance, then I crawled over to him.
"Hey.." I sat down next to him on the double bus seat.
I was freezing and Brian could see that, so he offered to share the jacket he had laid over himself. - It was Freddie's jacket but we always shared clothes, so it was basically also my jacket.
I moved closer towards Brian and laid my head onto his shoulder, closing my eyes.

"Are you hung over as well?" I asked just to start a conversation but Brian didn't say anything, he just nodded.
He looked horribly tired.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his neck, giving him a sweet kiss.
Even though we had been in our tourbus for several hours, smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol, Bri still smelled so good.

"Hey, Rog, we shouldn't do that here.." I heard him whisper.
"Do what?" I mumbled into his neck.
"You know... Make out and stuff like that... Deaky and Freddie are right over there.. And all those ladies, too.." His voice stayed quiet.
"I'm not making out, I'm just cuddling!" I tightened the hug and pulled him closer. I could feel how Brian was trying to get out of the hug.

"We can do that in private.. Those girls are probably going to talk about it and then the media will spread rumors.."
"What rumors? It's not rumors, it's the truth.." I started kissing his neck again and I could feel how uncomfortable Brian was getting.

"That wouldn't be good, Roger... I still haven't come out to my family yet.." Now he tried to push me away.
"It's about time then, Brimi" I didn't let him go, I held onto his waist whilst trying to make some hickeys on his neck.
"Don't worry, if you don't want to tell them, the media will do it for you quicker than anything!" I chuckled and went on to give him kisses on his cheek.

"Roger, no! I- I can't tell them yet!" I saw the panic in his eyes as he was begging me to stop loving him.
"Why?" I raised and eyebrow and separated slowly.
"B- Because..." He seemed to think for a moment, then he shrugged slightly. "I'm sorry... just.. just give me some more time please, Roggie..."

I sighed and rolled my eyes.
I wasn't in the mood for an argument right now, so I just let it be.

Brian sighed and I could see the guilt in his eyes. "Sorry, I.. I just want to come out to my parents first, okay?"
I shrugged. "Whatever.. Do what you want."
"Roggie, I-" "Iiiit's fiiine..." I sighed annoyed and pushed him away a little.
"Please don't hate me again, Roger-"
I interrupted him again by pressing my hand on his mouth. Our eyes met as I stared at him. "Didn't you hear me? It's fine! I don't hate you."

Brian seemed relieved as he nodded slightly. He took my hand and removed it from his mouth just to hold it in his own hands gently.
"I'm sorry..." He started again.
This time I couldn't help but ape back his ridiculous 'I'm sorry'. I pulled my hand away from his, grabbed him by the collar and pulled him in for a kiss right on the lips. He didn't revolt against the kiss which surprised me a little. He even kissed me back.
It soon turned into a more passionate French kiss and lasted for quite some time, too.
"That's what you get for your dumb sorries..." I breathed silently as I separated from the kiss, leaning my forehead against his.
Brian smiled, then he pulled away from my affection.
"Then I know what to do." He winked.