Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

17 (August 17th, 1975)

ROGER'S POV

I didn't know this side of Brian - that he could be passionate like that.
I liked it, though.

My hands were intertwined with his curls, holding him close as we were getting more into it.
That was a completely new experience for me.
Brian was so tall, boney and his face was not soft like a girl's face. It was a little stingy because of his stubbles around his chin. He smelled nice, like... Brian.

So, this was what girls were experiencing when they made out with a guy.
I was fascinated by it and at the same time I was annoyed by myself as I was just comparing myself to a girl.

BRIAN'S POV

Kissing Roger felt really good. He was soft and sweet, his neck was warm and so was his breath.
Oh, how I've been longing for him - I had just realized that now.

I was truly happy at that moment and I continued looking at Roger to make sure he felt the same.
He seemed to enjoy every second and he didn't open his eyes even once.

I started to move to his chest and kissed it.
Oh how soft he was.
He was so beautiful.

Suddenly a knock on the door could be heard.

We both froze in shock.
Roger's eyes were huge as he stared at the door and so were mine.
I didn't even dare to breathe.
Luckily, the door was locked.

I moved away from Roger slowly, trying not to make a noise.
I tried to calm down my breath.

"Yes?" I asked towards the door.

From the other side I could hear Deaky: "Uhm... Bri..?"

"Deaky? What is it?"

"Bri, can I come in? I wanted to talk to you about.... About something.."

His voice was quiet and he sounded insecure about something.

I looked over at Roger, then back at the door.
"Uhm... I- I'm not dressed. I was sleeping. Give me a minute!"

"Okay, I'll wait.."

My heart beat started to increase it's tempo and I got nervous again.
I felt adrenaline rush through my body.
Roger turned towards me, looked around and raised his shoulders.
His lips were forming a voiceless "Where?"
I shrugged as I was looking around the room.
Where could Roger hide?

I pointed at the bed.
"There!" I whispered as quietly as I could whilst pointing at it repeatedly and Roger quickly jumped off the bed, collected his clothes and crawled underneath it as quiet as possible.

I buttoned up my shirt which took me quite a while as my hands were shaking.
I stumbled towards the door, cleared my throat and opened up.

John was standing in front of the room, his hands behind his back and he was bobbing up and down slightly whilst waiting. His gaze wandered from the floor towards my eyes and he smiled at me.

I let him enter and as I closed the door hehind me he already headed towards the bed and let himself fall onto it before I could even react.

I winced as I imagined Roger being crushed underneath the bed and he acutally made a noise but I reacted early enough;

"Fu-"
I just started coughing as soon as I could hear Roger's voice.
Luckily, John didn't pay attention to it.

"Oh, I must have caught a cold or something!" I laughed nervously and sat down next to Deaky - but very carefully.

"So, what was it you wanted to talk about?" I looked at him smiling.
"Well" Deaky put a hand on his cheek and I could see it becoming slightly red.
"Last night.. was kind of crazy and apparently I did some very.. naughty things." He looked at me with a worried face. "Well, Freddie said so but I'm not sure if he was just teasing me." He cleared his throat. "Do you know what I did last night? You were there, right? Do you remember?"

I couldn't tell him that I left the bar with Roger way before the two of them as I was scared he would ask too many questions, so I just decided to lie... which I usually didn't do - and didn't want to do but in this case I didn't see a better solution.

"Oh, I'm sorry, John. I'm afraid I was quite drunk myself..." I laughed nervously.
Oh, I was such a terrible liar.
"I can't remember much either."

"But at least something? Was I actually making out with a drag queen?"
His cheeks turned bright pink and he just stared at the ground.

I tried not to chuckle at his reaction.
"I'm sorry, Deaky. I really don't know. Roger and me, we lost you, Freddie and Paul quite early, so I don't know what you did. But I think no-one knows. Or cares. Freddie maybe.  But he can keep a secret."
I winked at him and he actually seemed to calm down a bit.

"I guess... I just wanted to know if it's true..." He sighed. "Well, doesn't matter. Thanks anyways, Bri."
He thanked me by bowing down the slightliest bit as he got up and he quickly left the room again.

As he had closed the door, I could hear Roger from underneath the bed:
"Daaaamn, Deaky is wild! He's the real badger here!"
Then I heard him laugh as he pushed himself out from underneath the bed.